Interview For Writers of Cleveland Now Live!

B.W. Ginsburg

Hi everybody! I hope you’re all doing well. I was recently interviewed by Dana McSwain for Series One of Writers of Cleveland. I am so grateful for this opportunity. If you’d like to check out the interview, please click here! Dana truly did a wonderful job.

I first had the pleasure of meeting Dana McSwain at Loganberry Books. I purchased her book, Roseneath, which I have begun to read and thoroughly enjoy. If you’re reading this, Dana, I apologize for not finishing the book yet. As you may know, I started my first official job and have been pretty busy with that. Dana is so kind and generous. She’s unbelievably supportive and understands how hard writers work to achieve their goals. I’m really happy that I got a chance to meet her in person and collaborate with her on our most recent interview.

I hope you’re all doing well…

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Confidence

Confidence. It’s a word that seems to be thrown around quite a lot. Everyone seems to be telling us to ‘have confidence’. I know for me that’s often easier said than done.

I’m not sure if it’s because I struggle with anxiety or not, but I often worry that I’m doing something incorrectly. This makes it hard for me to trust in myself and my abilities. However, I’m slowly learning that I have good instincts and that I have to learn to rely on them and to trust that I do in fact know what I’m doing and talking about.

The other day at work I wanted to make sure that I was looking at everything right. It turned out that I was. My co-worker even said how sometimes one can begin to question themselves in our line of work. I said that I agreed and that I have in fact experienced this. She said that as time goes on, I’ll learn to trust in my instincts.

As I mentioned in previous posts, I think I’m pretty good at my new job. Yes, I ask for help (which is perfectly okay and there are people who are there to assist), but I am kind to those I assist and I take the time to do everything I can to help. I don’t give up on those that need my assistance and I go out of my way to do what is asked of me and, sometimes, what I offer to do on my own.

If you often get told to have confidence and you’re struggling to do so, you’re not alone. Having faith in ourselves can be difficult. Especially if you’re someone who wants to do your best and is worried about doing the opposite, you can start to self-sabotage and question your every move. However, let me tell you this: if you care that much about whatever you are doing, chances are that you are doing a great job! Trust in your abilities. If you need help, ask for it and keep mental notes on how to solve that problem on your own next time. And if you need help with that same issue again in the future? That’s okay too. Learning something new usually takes time.

No one is perfect. I repeat, no one is perfect! We all make mistakes and we all need some help sometimes. Both of those things are alright. Remember that you are a smart individual with many talents and that with hard work, you can and will accomplish your goals. I know it’s not always easy, but try to believe in yourself. Challenge yourself to become more confident!

Being Proud With Your Progress…And Not Comparing Yourself With Others

Hi everyone! Long time no write! As I touched on in my last post, I began my first official job. Therefore I’ve been busy and don’t have as much time to write. However, I wanted to take the time today to share with you the importance of being proud of ones progress and trying our hardest to not compare ourselves with others.

I’m not going to lie, it’s hard for me not to compare where I am in my life with where everyone else is. In terms of where I am, there are a lot of people who are further. I am almost thirty and as I reach that milestone, I start to reflect on where I could be in my life and yes, I begin to feel a little depressed. However, I start to realize something else – that I have made a lot of progress and you know what? It feels amazing! For the longest time I thought that I wouldn’t be able to get better at certain things because of my anxiety and you know what? I have! For the longest time I thought I wouldn’t find a job where I could work at home. You know what? I have! Not only that, but I truly feel that I’m doing a great job.

So yes, maybe I’m not as ‘far along’ with my achievements as some other people are at this age. Yes, I still struggle with anxiety and I still wish that it didn’t hold me back from doing certain things. But you know what? I’m trying my hardest and I am making progress. There is no doubt in my mind about that. None whatsoever. I am proud of how far I’ve come. I’m proud of my success and achievements. I’m going to keep working hard to get through my anxiety and I’m not going to give up. I believe that if I continue to face my anxiety on a consistent basis that I will make even more progress and hopefully, one day reach a point where anxiety will no longer hold me back from what I want to do.

I know that it’s hard not to compare ourselves to others. We see others who are closer to their goals than we are. Then there are some people who make rude comments or say hurtful things. It stops and makes us wonder if they’re right. I know what it’s like to wonder if I’m a failure. Let me tell you something. If you’re trying your hardest on a consistent basis then you are not a failure. Things take time and it’s okay if you’re not exactly where someone else is in life. What matters is that you continue to strive to make your life better. If you want to compete with anyone, compete with yourself. Make it your goal to make more progress so you can be more like the true version of yourself, the one that is not held back by negative obstacles.

I wish each and every one of you the best. Please remember to be proud of your progress!

Celebrating Your Accomplishments!

A lot of great things have come to blossom for me in these last two months. I started my first ‘real’ job and my book, Crimson Vows, sold out at Loganberry Books! These two events made me utterly happy and I am so grateful for these accomplishments.

I know I can’t speak for everyone, but sometimes my worrisome mind tends to try to destroy what’s good. When it comes to my job, I sometimes worry I’m not doing everything perfectly. When it comes to selling out of my book, I start wondering why it happened and found it hard at first to believe it did. I’m not going to lie, it’s still a little hard for me to believe. It’s something I’ve wanted for so long. Just like getting a job.

What I’ve come to realize, though, is that we have to celebrate our accomplishments. We have to believe in ourselves and be proud of ourselves. I worked hard to find a job, I got hired, and I’m doing my best. You know what? I think I’m doing really well. I also put a lot of work into writing Crimson Vows. It wasn’t easy going to Loganberry Books for the first time with anxiety and pitching my books (although Miesha did help make it a lot easier), but I did it. And you know what? It paid off!

There are times when we all struggle. There are times when we wonder if we’ll ever accomplish our goals. I truly believe that with hard, consistent effort, we will. I know it can sometimes be hard to see and believe, but it’s true.

For those of you who are struggling, hang tight and stay strong. Keep fighting for what you want. Don’t give up on your goals and when you achieve them, celebrate them!

I wish you all the best! 

Feeling the Difference

There’s a great sense of achievement and calm that washes over you when you have an especially good day. When you see yourself doing things without anxiety making you feel unsure of yourself and unsteady. When you feel a sense of normalcy, one that comes with doing things with ease and comfort.

I had a really good day today. I went to a relative’s house and hung out, walking around and getting more done than usual. As a bonus, when I was doing these things, I felt calm instead of frazzled and full of stress. There was a point when I really focused on just how good I was doing.

To be honest, all week has gone pretty well. While I have been going out more than usual this week, I’ve managed to get things done for the most part with minimal anxiety.

I want you all to know that with hard work on a consistent basis, you can and will get through your anxiety. I know I’ve said this a lot, but it’s true. I know how hard it can sometimes be to remain faithful and believe in ourselves. We sometimes look at how we struggle day after day and it makes us wonder if we’ll ever overcome our obstacles. I don’t want you to lose faith. You are worthy of believing in yourself and worthy of winning the battle against your struggles. Stay strong and don’t give up on yourself!

There is something truly amazing about feeling the difference between feeling anxious and feeling confident and relaxed. Just as I have, you can feel that difference if you try your hardest to face your fears.

For My Book Loving Friends…

Hey everybody! This is just a gentle reminder that in addition to blogging about mental health, I have also written and self-published five books and one solo short story. All of my books and my solo short story are available on Amazon.com, in addition to two of them (Crimson Vows and Rest in Piece) also being available at the bookstore, Loganberry Books. The bookstore is located in Shaker Heights, Ohio (https://store.loganberrybooks.com).

In addition to blogging on this site, I also have two other blogs/sites. One is my writing site at https://restinpieceblog.wordpress.com and the other is my TV show/movie review blog at https://moviereviews48.movie.blog.

I hope you’ve enjoyed learning a bit more about me and where you can find more of my work. If you wish to visit me on Instagram, you can find me @b.w.ginsburg48. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to ask. Thanks!

-B.

Firsts

A couple of days ago, I did something for the first time in a long time – I went out with someone other than one of my parents. Not only did I travel with someone other than my mom or dad, but I did pretty well.

This was a very big deal. It is something that I am extremely proud of. While I am almost thirty years old and needed help going out, I went outside of my usual comfort zone and that is a humungous accomplishment. It’s been so long since I’ve trusted myself and been calm enough in terms of my anxiety to go out with a friend or relative who is not in my immediate family.

It honestly took me a while to realize just what a big accomplishment this occurrence was. Sure, I realized that I had gone out with a friend and did well, but I hadn’t really focused on how this was a new first – or at least how it hasn’t happened for a few years.

Without mentioning this individual by name, I would like to thank the person who went on this adventure with me. Thank you for being there for me; for supporting me. Thank you for being patient with me and not making me feel like a burden. I cannot express just how much your friendship means to me. 

To those of you out there who worry you’ll never make any progress, I can assure you that as long as you work on facing your fears on a consistent basis, you will make progress. It may take a while and probably won’t happen over night, but you will get better. If you take small steps and challenge yourself bit by bit, you will see yourself improving.

There is something else I want you all to know. Any steps you take in the right direction and any progress you make, should be celebrated. Some people may tell you that you should be further along. Heck, you might feel that way. However, progress is progress and no step towards getting better is insignificant. Instead of getting upset with yourself that you’re not doing even better than you currently are, try to focus on what you have achieved. Also, remember how far you’ve come and that you can continue to make progress.

I wish you all well. If you need to talk, please let me know. Stay strong and believe in yourself. You can overcome your anxiety!

Kind Of Coping – A Book Review

Book Review

B.W. Ginsburg

4/5 Stars

Maureen “Marzi” Wilson’s Kind Of Coping is a cute book that looks at the experiences of those who struggle with anxiety. I truly believe that whether you deal with severe anxiety or the stress of daily life, you will find this book relatable.

While anxiety can be a very serious issue, Wilson finds a way to add some humor to certain situations, without insulting or belittling those who struggle. In addition, I often found myself agreeing with some of the things the author was saying and even found myself saying “ditto” at one point.

If you’re looking for an enjoyable and helpful read, I definitely recommend Kind Of Coping. I received this as a gift from a friend and am quite grateful.

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Update

Hi all! A few days ago I wrote about the sometimes difficult decision we have to make. The decision to stay home or go out and face the possibility of becoming anxious. I mentioned how I had somewhere I really wanted to go and that I had chose to venture out.

I ended up having a great time – even better than I expected. A couple of friends came over to have lunch with me and a relative and afterwards we headed out to our destination. Not only was the food amazing and the trip breathtaking, but I did extremely well. While I did have to take several breaks so that I could sit down, I was able to enjoy myself without becoming too anxious.

Something I also want to touch on is just how wonderful the people I went with were. They were patient and understanding. That truly can make all the difference. They didn’t make me feel like an inconvenience or burden. I am so happy to have them in my life.

There are a lot of things that can be learned from this and many other positive experiences I’ve had. Here are some of those lessons:

1.) We are stronger than our fears. They may try to make us feel otherwise, but that is simply not true.

2.) Having kind, understanding people in our lives is important. I know they can be difficult to find at times, but there are people who will support you and stand by your side even through difficult times.

3.) Having faith in ourselves is essential.

4.) We need to practice facing our fears in small, manageable steps. With consistent effort, we can and will overcome our obstacles.

I hope you’re all doing well. If you ever need to talk, I’m here.

The Ultimate Decision

Here’s the situation – you want to go out somewhere but you’re afraid your anxiety will interfere. You worry that instead of having a good time, your anxiety will make things difficult. Then you fear you’ll somehow embarrass yourself. You start to wonder if it’s even worth the trip. Of course, if you don’t go, you’ll regret that too.

I know this conundrum all too well. It’s like the Clash’s song, Should I Stay or Should I Go. It’s a tough choice and at times, no answer seems like the right one. Still, we have to make a decision. Should we take the risk that our anxiety might try to take over and make us miserable, or should we let it win without us even trying to do what we so badly want?

In a few days, I might have the opportunity to go somewhere amazing. It’s somewhere I’ve never been before, but know that I’ll enjoy it. I’d even be going with some great people. The problem? I’m worried my anxiety will cause issues. I want to enjoy myself and I don’t want anyone to suffer if my anxiety kicks in.

I know I shouldn’t focus on the negative. I know that. Still, I think back and remember the other times where my anxiety has effected my outings in a negative way. I don’t want that to happen again.

However, there is another side to this. The positive side. The people I’d maybe be going with know about my anxiety. They are kind people who I think would be supportive and patient. Also, I am making progress with getting through my anxiety and I have that to hold onto.

If you’re trying to decide whether or not you should do something because you don’t know how anxiety will effect things, consider this:

1.) If you’re going with other people, will they be patient and understanding? If not, can you handle that? Will their negativity and how they treat you if things don’t go perfectly spoil your good time? If so, maybe you should reconsider. However, don’t allow negative people to necessarily change your mind about going out or doing things. Remind yourself how strong you really are.

2.) What would be worse? Going out and maybe becoming anxious or not going out at all and possibly regretting not at least trying?

Please believe me when I say that I know how hard it can be deciding if you should do something when anxiety can be involved. Thinking about all the negative things that could happen can be scary. However, at the same time, so can not doing something you want because you’re giving into your fears.

I, personally, like to try. I like to go out and give it my best shot. I know that can be easier said than done. Trust me, I do. Still, I’ve gone out to find that I’ve overcome my anxiety and had a great time!