The Good, Even In The Bad

Yesterday was an interesting day. It was interesting in that, while it was difficult, it was also great. Where I live it was 90 degrees. I went to my relative’s house. They don’t have air conditioning. Enough said, right?

The day started off really well. I had a doctor’s appointment and I did really well. I mean, really well. Even at one point, when I became slightly anxious, I didn’t let it take over. I’m so proud of myself that putting it into words doesn’t do it much justice. It was an amazing feeling to overcome my anxiety and have it not take control of the rest of my body to an extreme level.

Later on in the day was when things got a little more difficult. I decided to go outside a little bit and spend some time with Cali (an adorable stray cat my mom and I take care of). At first I felt okay with a small fan blowing, but soon I needed a break from the intense heat. I went inside and wasn’t able to go through the rest of the house like usual due to my relative painting. Therefore I had to head to the basement where it’s cooler. After still being too warm, I had to go back outside and retrieve the fan and bring it inside.

Perhaps to some, none of these things seem like a big deal. However, in addition to feeling overheated, I felt extremely anxious. My relative was busy and so instead of asking for help, I decided to try to do as much as I could on my own. I admit, it wasn’t easy. However, I got what I needed done.

In addition to the above achievements (and yes, I believe they were great successes), I also made a decision that was tough to make, but I believe was right. While I felt it was in the best interest of my relative, they seemed upset with the decision I made. I apologized and explained that my decision was meant to decrease their stress level and they said that they understood. They then thanked me for thinking of them. It still felt like they weren’t happy with what I did though. Still, I feel that I did the right thing and definitely, for the right reason.

All in all, I had a great day full of accomplishments. It’s a little challenging categorizing the day as ‘great’ when there were points where I felt very uncomfortable due to the combination of the heat and my anxiety. However, it did feel great to get through these moments.

I hope that everyone is doing well. Please remember how strong you are, even when things are difficult and when you’re struggling.

-B.