Society’s Standards

Over the years, standards have been set. You should have a job, have your own living quarters, and heck, even have sex at a certain age according to society. I can understand how some of these standards have become expected, but I think that for them to be set in stone and expected to be followed by every individual is simply wrong.

I can understand why certain standards are set – I can. People should try hard to find employment and their own living quarters by a certain point in their life. I don’t, however, think it’s necessarily up to us to decide when that point should be for others.

I think that when people feel they are ready to do something, that is when they should. While people shouldn’t use this way of thinking to shirk their responsibilities or not work hard, I do think that it’s okay that not everyone does everything at the same time. We’re all different and sometimes things are harder for some of us than they are for others. This does not mean that we give up or don’t keep trying our hardest to accomplish our goals, but rather that we don’t constantly beat ourselves up for not always meeting society’s standards.

A word that I really don’t like is ‘pathetic’. So many people who are less than understanding throw this word at people when society’s standards are not met. No one is perfect and people struggle – struggling is difficult and no one enjoys it.

It may be hard to see at times, but even those who struggle are often trying their best. Things may not be as easy for some of us as for others, but this does not mean that we’re not putting our best foot forward.

If you find yourself struggling and comparing yourself to others, remember this: no one is perfect! You are not alone. You don’t have to meet society’s standards. All you have to do is try your hardest and never give up on becoming the best you can be!

 

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The ‘Norm’

So lately I’ve been feeling a bit down. I’m still struggling with anxiety and it still holds me back from doing many of the things I love. Also, while I don’t hate living at home still, I know a lot of people my age aren’t still living with their parents.

I’m not going to lie – it can be very depressing. I want to be more independent and have a job, but my anxiety stands in the way. Maybe to some people that seems like an excuse, but it’s not. Anxiety can be a very powerful thing and it can make you feel like your unable to do even the simplest of things.

The thing is that while it’s good to have goals, we sometimes need to stop focusing so much on what’s considered ‘the norm’ and instead focus on doing the best we can. It really does no good to sit around and feel guilty or pathetic that you maybe still live with your parents or don’t have a job. As my dad said, we all do things at different times in our life and while we should have goals and shouldn’t use our issues as an excuse, it’s okay if we don’t do everything at the same speed as others.

The important thing is that we continue to try our hardest and that we never give up on our goals. If we work hard on a consistent basis, we can and will be successful. I know it’s hard not to let what’s considered normal dictate your life and not to feel bad if you don’t fit in with what’s considered ‘proper’, but sometimes things happen that cause us to stray from the norm. Straying from the norm does not make us pathetic or weird, but rather means that we’re different or have different issues than some other individuals may have.

Before I end this post, I want to tell you this. Don’t let anyone make you feel pathetic that you don’t fit in with the norm. Like I said, sometimes life doesn’t turn out how we wish it would and sometimes there are circumstances that make things a little harder. The only real failure in life is giving up completely. If you’re not happy with how things are, you can always change them. Don’t allow others to bring you down and don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Just work hard!

We’ll Get Through This!

For almost a week now, I’ve been struggling with something. For a while I was doing really well, but for some reason lately, things have been tough. It’s not that I haven’t been trying, but when it comes down to it, I can’t seem to get this particular thing accomplished. To be honest, it’s starting to really upset me.

I know deep down that I can do this, that I can succeed. I’ve seen myself do it before and I know I have both the ability and strength to get through my anxiety. Still though, it’s hard. It’s hard to see myself make so much progress and then see myself taking steps backwards. I don’t want to lose momentum.

It’s weird. On one hand I have faith in myself, but on the other, it’s difficult to have that faith. It can be difficult to believe you can get through something when you keep seeing yourself shy away from the challenge at hand. However, I know deep down that I can do this!

When you start to notice that you’re struggling, you have to take actions to prove to yourself that you’re stronger than your anxiety. Take me for example. I’ve been having a hard time doing something lately so what am I planning on doing? I’m planning on exercising and stretching more – showing myself that I can get through this!

I have another piece of advice that I think will be helpful. While I know that this isn’t always easy, sometimes we need to stop putting so much pressure on ourselves. Every day since I’ve been struggling with accomplishing the task I’m speaking of, I obsess about it. I worry that I’ll never be able to get it done, I worry that I’ll fall into the pattern of not succeeding. My advice? Try your hardest not to think about it. Say to yourself, “Okay, I’m struggling with this. I’ll try my hardest to stretch, exercise, and practice facing my fears in small steps. I won’t think about [insert task here] for the rest of the day. If I get it done tomorrow, great. If I don’t, I’ll keep working on it”.

Obsessing can be a dangerous thing. Obsessing can make problems seem bigger, scarier. Obsessing just allows anxiety to build up and control us. DON’T ALLOW ANXIETY TO WIN! Remember: you are stronger than your anxiety!

Holding On To the Feeling of Progress!

This morning I succeeded at something that I haven’t really done in a long time, or at least I haven’t done it as well as I did today. It’s something that I’ve been struggling with for a while and although I did manage to kind of succeed at it a little while ago, this is the first time in a long time that I really felt like I did a good job at it. It felt wonderful to make progress and realize that I have the ability to achieve my goals.

I just recently went to my therapist’s and he was saying how I have to realize that when I make progress and succeed at something that it’s not just luck. I wasn’t lucky today when I accomplished my goal, but rather I accomplished my goal because I am capable of making progress and facing my fears. I am stronger than my anxiety.

I think that it’s so easy (especially in times of struggling), to forget just how strong we are. I know that for me, it’s almost become habit to worry about things, to feel like I can’t do certain things. However, I have the ability to succeed and I’ve proven that to myself more than just once. It just takes consistent effort and practice to continue to show myself that I can get through my anxiety and overcome my obstacles.

It’s so important that when we succeed and make progress, that we hold on to the amazing feeling that achieving our goals provides. Achieving our goals proves to us that we are capable of making progress. Please realize that when you succeed at something, that it’s not just luck, but rather it’s your hard work paying off!

Seizing Opportunities!

Hey guys! As many of you know, my dream career is to be a professional writer. For many years, I’ve been writing different poems, stories, and articles and submitting them to various places in hopes to get published.

Now I admit, it’s been a struggle. I know that there have been plenty of famous writers for whom it’s taken years and years to become successful, but that doesn’t mean that it wouldn’t be nice to see my work published at an early age. Now, don’t get me wrong, I haven’t gotten any novels published or made any money for the one poem that I had published, but I have had articles published now on different sites and blogs. The feeling is amazing! I also just recently got an amazing writing opportunity and am quite happy about it!

Most of the places that have published my articles have not offered me money, but that’s okay. Would it be nice if all these places paid for writing? Of course! However, I don’t write for the money or even the fame, but rather to get my work out there, and in many cases, hopefully help others.

Ever since I started writing this blog, opportunities have been coming my way. I have written guest posts for other blogs, I have written for The Seeds 4 Life (Thank you so much, Matt!), Battle of Mind, Youshare Project, and The Mighty. All of these bloggers and blogs have allowed me to share my experiences and I thank each and every one of them so much! I am so honored to be given the opportunity to be a part of these sites.

While I had some friends come to me and ask me if I’d be interested in these opportunities, I also had to do a great deal of the work myself. I had to search for the sites, research them, and then of course, write for them. I couldn’t just hear about the opportunities, I had to seize them!

I’m happy that I took advantage of these opportunities. I’ve met some fabulous people and discovered some great blogs! I’ve found that I do have the ability to write well and help others through my writing. Also, I’m proud to say that I feel like I’m on the right track to success!

I wanted to write this post to remind all of you that you have the ability to succeed, to accomplish your goals. Things may not come all at once or even quickly, but if you keep working at it, success will happen! Please don’t give up on your positive dreams!

 

**A special thank you to everyone who has worked with me and supported me!

Accomplishments!

Yesterday I accomplished something that I’m quite proud of! I did this with no anxiety and let me tell you, it felt amazing! For a little while, I was very conscious of what was going on, but then I started to relax and as I was succeeding, I realized just how great it all felt.

I was, and still am, super proud of myself. I told my parents and a friend how happy I was to have succeeded and they were all very proud of me. A part of me felt silly being so proud and expressing this pride, but then I realized something with the help of a friend: there is no accomplishment too small to be proud of and quite frankly, I don’t think my accomplishment was very small at all. It’s one thing to get through something and another to do so without feeling any anxiety, and I’m very proud to say that I did a job well done!

This leads me to another point: any progress that is made should be celebrated in a healthy way, whether it’s considered big or small. Also, while you shouldn’t depend on others for recognition, there is nothing wrong with sharing your happiness. Additionally, while some people may not appreciate your accomplishments, others will and these are the people that you should be most grateful for (not that you shouldn’t be grateful for the other people in your life. Some people just have a difficult time understanding what they do not struggle with).

I would like to thank the first friend I shared my success with (you know who you are!). Thank you so much for being here for me, for listening, and for always caring. Your friendship means the world to me and so does your support. Seriously, I’m so happy to have met you!

I also want to thank everyone who supports me. I want to thank those who take the time to read, comment on, and ‘like’ posts on my blog. I want to thank those who take the time to email me and really get to know me while at the same time respecting my privacy. Thank you so much!

Please remember guys: no amount of progress is too small to celebrate! Even if some others may not understand the big deal, succeeding at something positive always matters! So be proud of yourself, be grateful, and remember that succeeding means that you have the ability to get over your obstacles!

 

Everyday Things

I hope this post doesn’t sound like a cry for pity! The truth is that sometimes I just feel really down about my anxiety and I feel the need to express myself. This is one of those times.

I just went to a restaurant with my family and I struggled. I got through lunch and did eat a little, but I felt a lot more anxious than I would have hoped. I also became really anxious when we left. On the way home, I couldn’t help thinking about how badly I wish I could just do normal, everyday things with ease. I see so many people doing things that cause me tons of anxiety without even thinking twice about it.

Sometimes I wonder why things have to be so hard for me. I know that my issues have to do with my way of thinking, but it doesn’t stop the struggle from being real; from seeming scary. I hate the fact that things that should be simple and usually are for others, can be so difficult for me. I used to be able to do things with ease and now, things have become difficult at times.

It hurts. It hurts to see myself go through this, to want to get through this so badly and still struggle on such a regular basis. I try, I really do, but for some reason I just keep struggling.

Then there’s the medication situation I talked about yesterday. Would more medicine help? Maybe. Do I want to keep throwing medication at myself and hope that I get better and not worse? Not really. I don’t want to keep pouring medicine down my throat, I want to get through this by practicing and exercising instead of taking as much medicine as I possibly can!

Am I complaining a lot? Maybe. Still, I don’t like going through this and struggling with anxiety so much. I know that some things make people anxious, but not to degree that it effects me. Also, some of the things that cause me a lot of anxiety are so simple, or at least should be.

I’m not saying that I’m not improving or that I’m not grateful for the progress I’ve made. Rather, I’m saying that I don’t want to keep struggling like this and that it’s difficult to deal with.

I know I’m not alone in this battle. I know that everyday tons of people struggle with anxiety. I know that I’m not the only one who goes through this, who wishes things would be simpler. I’m not going to say that it’s worse for me than for anyone else, because I can’t possibly know that and I’m sure there are others who struggle to the same degree or more so than myself. Even for those who don’t struggle as much as I do, I know it’s hard.

I just want to say, that I understand and that you’re not alone. I want to say that I’m sorry to those of you who struggle with anxiety, who might struggle with things that are normally quite simple. I want to say that although it might not always seem like it, you can get through your anxiety with hard, consistent work. I also want to say that I’m here for you and that a lot of other people are as well. You are loved and cared for. Stay strong and remember that you can get through this!

*As always I would like to thank all those who support me in my journey to get through anxiety!

Try Not To Let It Get You Down

Today I had a psychiatrist appointment. During the appointment, I was asked if I had a job or boyfriend. The answer to both was no. Would I like to get a job and work? Absolutely! Would I like to meet some nice guy and maybe one day get married? Of course! However, due to my anxiety I don’t feel like I’d be able to work yet and I don’t get out a lot to meet a lot of people.

My psychiatrist wants me to take more medication, he’s wanted this for a long time. I am taking more than I was the last time I saw him, but he still wants me on an even higher dosage. While I want to get better in getting through my anxiety, I also don’t want to be on a lot of medicine. It’s just how I feel.

I know my psychiatrist means well, but he often times makes me feel pressured and guilty for not taking as much medication as he wants me to. He said how the longer I wait to work, the harder it will be for me to get a job and how if I want to have a boyfriend and get married, I have to get through my anxiety. I know this. I want to get better, get a job that I love, and have a relationship with someone special. Still, I don’t think that these things should be used to make me feel guilty for not taking more medication. I just don’t feel that it’s right.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand where my psychiatrist (and therapist) is coming from. He feels that if I take more medication, my anxiety will be easier to control and I’ll be able to accomplish more. However, I still want to be able to accomplish my goals and manage my anxiety without taking tons of medication. Is that so wrong?

Also, when I go in for my appointment and I hear things like, “If you want to stay this way, then you can keep taking a low dose of medication…” it hurts my feelings and I find it frustrating! Just because I don’t want to be on a high dosage of medicine, doesn’t mean that I don’t want to get better! Also, maybe my psychiatrist doesn’t consider a certain dosage high, but maybe I do. Doesn’t that matter?

My point is that while you should listen to your doctors, you should also make sure that you don’t allow them to make you feel too down about yourself. I know sometimes it can seem like they’re trying to make you feel guilty or putting a lot of pressure on you, but sometimes it’s just the way they say things. Also, while you have to work hard  and while you should listen to what is being said, don’t allow negative comments to make you feel hopeless. If you work hard on a consistent basis, you will get through your anxiety and succeed!

*This post is not meant to say that you shouldn’t listen to your doctors, psychiatrists, therapists, etc. Instead it is meant to say that you should not allow rude comments or other things that are said that may rub you the wrong way, bring you down.

 

Grains of Sand – June ’16

Once again, I would like to post my accomplishments for the past month. I highly recommend you guys check out Sandycademy’s Grains of Sand as well as her amazing blog in general! Here are my accomplishments for the month of June:

-Continued to make a lot of progress in terms of getting through my anxiety

  • I still have a long way to go, but I’ve made some great progress!

-Re-read Dead Lines by Greg Bear

  • This is an amazing book! By far my favorite! 🙂

-Got post published by The Mighty

  • This was a wonderful experience and I’m so happy to have had the opportunity to get published on such a great site!

-Got article published by Youshare Project

  • Once again it felt amazing to have the opportunity to get published. Also the team at Youshare Project is extremely kind. A special thank you to Carla for telling me about this site!

-Created July photo challenge with Carla

  • I love creating these challenges and it was fun working with Carla! Also, I love TV shows!

-Participated in June photo challenges (both movie and book)

  • I really enjoyed doing this!

-Wrote book review for Dead Lines

  • Again Dead Lines is an amazing book and I was happy to write the review! I highly recommend you guys check out the book!

-Worked on more of more my story

  • I’m really proud of this story so far and now have about 150 pages written!

-Started writing with amazing bloggers on Coalition of the Brave!

  • This is an amazing site created by Ben with the help from other amazing bloggers to share awareness on important issues. I’m happy to be a part of something so wonderful and important! A special thank you to Ben for this great opportunity!