Society’s Standards

Over the years, standards have been set. You should have a job, have your own living quarters, and heck, even have sex at a certain age according to society. I can understand how some of these standards have become expected, but I think that for them to be set in stone and expected to be followed by every individual is simply wrong.

I can understand why certain standards are set – I can. People should try hard to find employment and their own living quarters by a certain point in their life. I don’t, however, think it’s necessarily up to us to decide when that point should be for others.

I think that when people feel they are ready to do something, that is when they should. While people shouldn’t use this way of thinking to shirk their responsibilities or not work hard, I do think that it’s okay that not everyone does everything at the same time. We’re all different and sometimes things are harder for some of us than they are for others. This does not mean that we give up or don’t keep trying our hardest to accomplish our goals, but rather that we don’t constantly beat ourselves up for not always meeting society’s standards.

A word that I really don’t like is ‘pathetic’. So many people who are less than understanding throw this word at people when society’s standards are not met. No one is perfect and people struggle – struggling is difficult and no one enjoys it.

It may be hard to see at times, but even those who struggle are often trying their best. Things may not be as easy for some of us as for others, but this does not mean that we’re not putting our best foot forward.

If you find yourself struggling and comparing yourself to others, remember this: no one is perfect! You are not alone. You don’t have to meet society’s standards. All you have to do is try your hardest and never give up on becoming the best you can be!

 

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Doing Your Best

Anxiety sucks for countless reasons – seriously. I hate how there are so many things that I want to do yet don’t because anxiety gets in the way. I also hate how pathetic my anxiety makes me feel and, while I hate to admit it, how embarrassing my anxiety can be.

Today I was reflecting on how there was a time, when I didn’t over-think so much and I did things without thinking twice. I used to go shopping, go to school, and hang out with friends without worrying like I do now. Now, I need help doing things and to be honest, there are times when I feel utterly pathetic.

While I’d love to say that I never get embarrassed by my anxiety – I do. I get embarrassed when someone sees me struggling with simple things and I can’t help thinking, “Man I must look pathetic!”. I know that it’s possible that sometimes I’m too hard on myself, but it’s hard not to be when I’m not always proud of how I act. Plus, I know deep down that I’m able to do these things with ease and that it’s just my anxiety trying to convince me otherwise.

I think what’s important is that we try our hardest to do our best and focus on the positive. I know it may not always seem like there’s anything positive to focus on, but there is. Today I felt pathetic because my anxiety made me feel slightly dependent – a feeling that I hate. However, at the same time, I stayed where I was the entire time and didn’t leave, something that I easily could have done if I wanted. Heck, I didn’t even have to make the effort to go where I did in the first place, but I did. That’s progress.

I still must admit though that I hated the way anxiety made me look today. Anxiety has a way of making the strong look weak and the intelligent look stupid. I usually consider myself quite mature but sometimes when anxiety hits, I feel the exact opposite.

We have to hold on to the positive though and remember who we really are. I’m not my anxiety. In the past (though I’ve struggled with anxiety for a long time), there were times when I did the things that are now difficult, with ease. I know that there is nothing physically wrong with me and that the reason I struggle is just because of anxiety. We cannot let anxiety take over or make us feel bad about ourselves!

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Please Forgive Me

I know I talk a lot about judging others and how we should all try our hardest to avoid it. I have to admit though, that even I’m guilty of judging. Every time I hear someone say how they struggle with anxiety, I can’t help wondering how true it is – especially when there are no outward signs of them struggling.

I know this sounds horrible and many of you may never want to read this blog again. I’m not going to make excuses for myself. Yes I’m a human being and I think as human beings, we all have moments where we judge others, but that’s doesn’t make it okay.

First let me say that I’m not doubting anyone who says they suffer from anxiety. Rather, as a person who suffers from anxiety so much that it shows, I tend to wonder how bad a person’s anxiety can really be if I see no sign of it. Right away when they say they struggle, I sometimes think how I must struggle even more.

I’m not proud of this thought process. In fact, I’m embarrassed of it and ashamed to admit that I sometimes think this way. I know that some people are simply better at hiding their feelings and, really, whether or not there are outward signs of your anxiety has no bearing on how much you’re really struggling.

Still, I feel the need to apologize for these thoughts. Why? Because it’s not right to compare my struggles with others’. We all struggle in different ways and just because you may be able to tell that I struggle, doesn’t make my anxiety any worse or more real than yours. We all process things differently and we all have different symptoms.

I also want to add that whether your anxiety is something that others notice or not, it does not mean that you are weaker or stronger than others around you. Like I said, anxiety manifests for different people in different ways. Don’t feel like your anxiety or how you deal with it makes you weak. You are strong – far stronger than your fears!

P.S. Please understand that I know that just because you may hide your anxiety or be better at not showing it, does not mean that your anxiety is not as bad as mine or the anxiety of others. I merely meant that I can sometimes, like many others, be quick to judge and that I am truly sorry.

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Exercise: What I’m Learning

So as I’ve mentioned plenty of times, my therapist has suggested to me that I exercise every day to help boost my strength both physically and mentally. While I’ve been trying to do so ever since he told me to, I admit that there are times when I lose momentum, which is never a good thing. However, I’m started to learn something important about exercising and facing our fears.

About a week ago, I bought an exercise ball. Suffice it to say, at first I was awful at it – I was falling on my butt more than I was balancing on it. Seriously, the videos I was watching make it like it’s so simple to balance on it- for me, it wasn’t. However, after some help from my dad and continued effort, I learned how to balance better and do the exercises I wanted to do. Now that I’m better at it, I’m enjoying myself and I want to spend more and more time exercising!

That’s the thing about exercising and facing our fears – the better we get at it, the harder we want to work. My therapist always says that facing our fears is like exercising, you have to continue to work hard or you’ll lose momentum and we can’t afford that. So continue to work hard and enjoy yourself while you do!

Thank you to everyone who supports me in my journey to get through anxiety!

Image result for snoopy exercise

Google Images

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Check Out My Newest Post Published On The Mighty!

Hey everyone! I just went on The Mighty‘s website today and discovered that another one of my posts have been published! Special thanks to the team at The Mighty for making this possible and for all of you – for supporting me and being here for me through my journey to get through anxiety! I cannot express how much it means to me. If you’d like to check out my newest post published on The Mighty, feel free to click the link below. Thanks!

https://themighty.com/2016/10/sharing-your-feelings-doesnt-make-you-weak/

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We’ll Get Through This!

For almost a week now, I’ve been struggling with something. For a while I was doing really well, but for some reason lately, things have been tough. It’s not that I haven’t been trying, but when it comes down to it, I can’t seem to get this particular thing accomplished. To be honest, it’s starting to really upset me.

I know deep down that I can do this, that I can succeed. I’ve seen myself do it before and I know I have both the ability and strength to get through my anxiety. Still though, it’s hard. It’s hard to see myself make so much progress and then see myself taking steps backwards. I don’t want to lose momentum.

It’s weird. On one hand I have faith in myself, but on the other, it’s difficult to have that faith. It can be difficult to believe you can get through something when you keep seeing yourself shy away from the challenge at hand. However, I know deep down that I can do this!

When you start to notice that you’re struggling, you have to take actions to prove to yourself that you’re stronger than your anxiety. Take me for example. I’ve been having a hard time doing something lately so what am I planning on doing? I’m planning on exercising and stretching more – showing myself that I can get through this!

I have another piece of advice that I think will be helpful. While I know that this isn’t always easy, sometimes we need to stop putting so much pressure on ourselves. Every day since I’ve been struggling with accomplishing the task I’m speaking of, I obsess about it. I worry that I’ll never be able to get it done, I worry that I’ll fall into the pattern of not succeeding. My advice? Try your hardest not to think about it. Say to yourself, “Okay, I’m struggling with this. I’ll try my hardest to stretch, exercise, and practice facing my fears in small steps. I won’t think about [insert task here] for the rest of the day. If I get it done tomorrow, great. If I don’t, I’ll keep working on it”.

Obsessing can be a dangerous thing. Obsessing can make problems seem bigger, scarier. Obsessing just allows anxiety to build up and control us. DON’T ALLOW ANXIETY TO WIN! Remember: you are stronger than your anxiety!

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