This post was written by Sharon Yvonne at www.curiousqueendom.com. When asked, she says, “I’m a writer/ space queen infiltrating the Earthlings in hopes of establishing diplomatic relations.”
Please check out Sharon’s blog! She’s a great friend and writer!
I’m going to go on a limb and assume that you know that it’s good to be afraid of jumping into a shark tank that is full of hungry sharks and you don’t know how to swim.
I want to talk about the fears that keep you at night. These fear aren’t a matter of life and death but can and will impact the course of your life. The kind of fears that….
… stopped you from doing something that you wanted to do.
… hinder you from having meaningful relationships.
… has made it impossible for you to become your beautiful self.
There is little room for these fears in a life lived to it’s fullest potential, and I believe that everyone can reach her/his fullest potential. You don’t have to be the rich or have an Ivy League education. And, your journey does not have to look like anyone else’s. You have the power to design your life.
Unfortunately, you cannot harness your power until you’ve started to face your fears.
The most recent fear I vaporized was the fear of blogging. I was afraid to put myself out there for three main reasons.
1. I was afraid of what my friends and family would think: AKA Fear of Ridicule
2. I was afraid that people wouldn’t like me: AKA Fear of Rejection
3. I was afraid that no one would read it: AKA Fear of Failure
Because of these fears, I’ve started my blog, The Curious Queendom, about 4 different times. As soon as a family member caught wind of my blog, or a reader gave me negative feedback, or traffic to my blog dwindled, I swiftly took it down.
This last time I decided that I would keep it up no matter what. I haven’t made any major blog success, but my personal life is full of success because of my decision to keep my blog up. I want that for everyone. I want everyone to feel good about revealing that she/he is an alien from the planet Mercury without fear.
How to Face Your Fears
1. Be aware of when you’re making decisions from a place of fear. This is harder than it sounds because humans are good at making excuses. You may tell yourself that you don’t want to go out because you’re a homebody when really you don’t want to go out because you’re worried about seeming weird or whatever. Get real with yourself and identify why you picked the more comfortable alternative.
2. Make courageous decisions. Your fear lives and dies with your decisions. The only time fear has an impact is when you allow it to decide for you. When you are afraid, and you decide to lean into that fear, you have effectively killed it.
3. Don’t wait for fear to find you; hunt it down. You know what scares you, and you know that it’s irrational. You know that you won’t burst into flames when you tell the boy of your dreams how you feel. So instead of waiting for the perfect moment to present itself to you, take control.
4. What’s the worse that can happen? The worse that can happen is usually not so bad. Being embarrassed or humiliated sucks but it won’t kill you. What seems so terrible to you today, won’t feel so bad down the line. Who cares that you peed your pants in the first grade? Kids do that sometimes. Who cares that you messed up a part of your speech? People make mistakes. It’s what we do.
5. One step at a time. No one is expecting you to make an 180-degree transformation overnight. You should take your progress one step at a time. As long as you get back when you fall, you’ve made progress.
6. Dwell on the good stuff. In a moment of fear, you may tend to look for things that validate that fear, the times you messed up, embarrassed yourself, or whatever. Let’s be honest, you have done brilliant things with your life. You have had moments when you felt like you were in a flow-like state. Think about those moments and use them to invalidate your fears
7. Remember: Sometimes you’re going to give into your fear. No one is perfect. Striving for perfection just perpetuates fear. To avoid making a mistake, you wont even try. Mistakes are a critical part of learning. You learned how to walk because of all the times you fell. In a way, your mistakes are the greatest sign of progress.
8. Practice the things you aren’t good at. When you give into your fear, try to figure out why then practice not being afraid.
9. Life is an Adventure. Imagine the film Indiana Jones without conflict. He simply went to Wal-Mart and bought the last Holy Grail. Man, that would’ve been a terribly boring film. Your life will be full of conflict; and, quite frankly, you shouldn’t want it any other way. Embrace the craziness that is your life. Have fun with it. Laugh at your mistakes and learn from them.
I know that you are capable of living the life of your dreams. Now go out there and make it happen. NOW!
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