I Did It!

Hey everybody! Today I’d like to share some exciting news with you!

I used to love shopping – seriously. However, once my anxiety began hitting hard, it became more and more difficult to go out, especially for long periods of time. While I know I’ve made significant progress over the years, I still have a long way to go.

In terms of shopping, there is really only one place where I feel somewhat comfortable, and even there I struggle with walking around without getting anxious. It’s hard for me to focus on simply looking at things and enjoying myself while I’m worrying so much and I tend to get shaky and have to sit down. However, I will say that in general, I do pretty well there.

Today I did something amazing. My dad and I went out to buy some gifts for the holidays and when he asked if I’d like to try to go in, I said yes. I asked that we use a cart so I could hold on and he said alright. While I did hold onto the cart while we walked around, I stayed in the store the whole time and did great! I held onto my dad’s arm while we left the store because I felt a bit shaky, but I’m extremely proud of myself! There would have been a time when I would have either not tried going in the store at all or would have had to leave the store before we were finished shopping. Today I stayed inside the whole time, helped with finding everything, and didn’t get overly anxious. I can’t tell you how good that felt!

The point of this story is that even though it may seem like you’ll never get through your anxiety or over your obstacles, you can and will if you work hard on a consistent basis. There was a time when I wouldn’t have thought I could go shopping like I did today; when I didn’t think I could possibly stay the whole time, walk around, and leave without getting uncontrollably anxious – but I did! If I never would have gone in today and tried, I never would have seen how well I could have done!

So if you struggle with anxiety or some other issue, don’t feel like you’ll never overcome these obstacles. As long as you work hard and never give up, you can and will continue to make progress!

I wish you all the best in overcoming your obstacles!

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Thinking Back

For those of us who struggle, we may often times find ourselves looking back. We may think about how we once did things with ease and now, those same actions seem difficult. While focusing on the past can have negative ramifications such as causing us to feel depressed or hopeless, there is a way to reflect on the past and use it to our benefit.

For starters, even when looking at what once came easily and may now seem difficult, we can turn the fact that we now struggle into something positive. How? We can realize that since we were once able to do that action with ease, we still can. We just have to work our hardest to accomplish that goal! That may not seem simple, but it is possible.

Additionally, thinking about the past can be a good thing. Many of us (even if it doesn’t always seem obvious) have made progress when it comes to facing our fears, getting through our anxiety, and overcoming our obstacles. Many of us have made tremendous strides in accomplishing our goals. By reflecting on the past, we can see just how far we’ve come. Perhaps we’re not exactly where we want to be, but the fact that we’ve made progress is extremely important.

So next time you find yourself focusing on the past in a negative light, try to remember all of the positive ways you can think about the past. Think about how far you’ve come and how with continued hard work, you can become even more successful!

Doing What You Didn’t Think You Could

We all have fears – whether they’re irrational or not. Something that I’ve always feared is swallowing pills. I’ve always been afraid that I’d choke. Therefore I’ve either taken chewable medication when I was younger, liquid forms, or pills that were crushable. However, recently I had to take something that wasn’t suggested it be crushed. At first I was told that it couldn’t be, but then I was told that it was just that it wasn’t suggested. In the end, I decided to cut the pills in half and swallow them – I was still scared.

I had to take two pills a day for a week. While perhaps some of you may think it got easier, it didn’t always feel that way. I was still nervous I would choke. But you know what? Every day I took those pills and in the end, everything worked out! I never skipped a day and nothing bad ever happened. I did really well and I’m so proud of myself! It just goes to show how important it is to have faith in ourselves and to go out of our comfort zones.

I’m not going to lie – I’m still going to ask if medication can be crushed in the future if I have to take something else. Still, I know now that I’m capable of swallowing pills and I’m confident that if I ever have to do it again, I can. It feels so good to know that! The saying really is true – we’re often much more capable of things than we think. We really need to start having more faith in ourselves.

I’m also proud of myself because, while the last few days for me have been difficult and I’ve had to do a lot of things that made me nervous, I’ve done pretty well. While I did struggle a little, I also got through things that I wasn’t sure I could. We all have the strength inside of ourselves to conquer our fears – we just have to constantly exercise facing them and remind ourselves of our true strength.

I hope that each and every one of you are doing well and please remember how strong you truly are. I know that getting through anxiety and overcoming other obstacles can be extremely difficult, but with time and consistent effort, you can accomplish your goals!

It’s Okay To Have A Bad Day

First off, let me say that I understand that no one experiences anxiety in the exact same way. Secondly, let me assure you that I know just how difficult experiencing anxiety and panic attacks can be. It’s frustrating, heartbreaking, and at times – very, very scary. I also know how great it is to make progress and to witness yourself doing so. At the same time, though, it’s hard seeing bad days come between you and that joy.

I’ve been doing very well lately with getting through my anxiety. I’ve noticed a lot of progress being made on my end and I’m not afraid to say that I’m quite proud of myself. Two days ago, however, something happened. I had the first panic attack I’ve had in a while. I absolutely hated that feeling. 

Having that panic attack made me feel like I was reverting to how I once was; taking a step in the wrong direction. That night was not easy for me and to make matters worse, I hardly got any sleep. The next day was okay, but last night was difficult again. I didn’t have what I would call a panic attack, but my anxiety was extreme and my legs felt like rubber beneath me. I felt weak, scared, and pathetic. I was also with someone less than understanding, so things were not in the least bit easy to deal with. 

The truth is though that I am strong, able to get through my anxiety, and making a good amount of progress. Bad days can be saddening and frustrating, but they do not take away all that we’ve accomplished. Also, there are people in this world who might try to make us feel lousy for struggling – we need to try our hardest not to let them. Trust me when I say that I know how difficult that is. Still, we need to try. No one knows quite what we’re going through or how hard we’re trying except ourselves and we cannot allow others to take away our confidence.

Please know that it is okay to have bad days. Having bad days does not mean we’re not making progress or getting better. Also, bad days aren’t necessarily a sign of danger ahead – they’re just moments of struggle. We’re stronger than our anxiety and every day is a chance for improvement. Please remember that and never give up on your fight against anxiety. 

Seeking Approval

Hi everybody! So, I know that I’ve touched on this subject before, but I’d like to talk about how many of us spend our time seeking the approval of others.

There is one person in particular who I’ve noticed I’m constantly trying to ‘impress’ – my mom. Unfortunately, she isn’t someone who really understands my struggle with anxiety as much as I would hope, which, in turn, makes me feel the need to show her that I am, in fact, making progress. The thing is, however, that I shouldn’t have to point it out to her and doing so, makes me feel kind of pathetic.

Don’t get me wrong – my mom has started noticing on her own that I’m doing better in some cases. This makes me extremely happy and proud of myself. Still, I find myself asking, “Did I do well?” and when I hear myself ask this, I find myself becoming a bit disappointed in myself. Why? Because it shouldn’t matter what my mom or anyone else says or thinks. As long as I’m making progress and recognize this fact, that’s all that should matter.

Therefore, I’ve decided something – not to ask the question of whether or not someone thinks I’ve done well at something. If someone wants to express how well I did themselves, that’s great – if not, that’s okay too. I’m going to depend on myself to judge my progress.

I think that by allowing myself to decide when I’ve done well, I’m giving myself more confidence – I’m not waiting for someone else to give me praise or determine how successful I’ve been. In my opinion, allowing others to judge us just adds unnecessary anxiety. So please don’t wait for others to say that you’re doing a good job, pat yourself on the back when you do well!

 

Getting Better (and recognizing it)!

I’ve been reflecting lately on something extremely important – how I really have made a good amount of progress when it comes to getting through my anxiety. While I admit that I’m still not where I want to be in terms of not allowing anxiety to interfere with my life, I also see that I’ve made a lot of improvements and that I’m quite proud of myself.

I can’t speak for everyone, of course, but I know that for me, one of my biggest fears is that I’ll never get through my anxiety like I want to – that anxiety will always hold me back from what I want to achieve. I hate the idea of never overcoming my fears and it scares me that there’s a possibility that I’ll always feel enslaved to something so awful. However, I also realize that because I’ve made so much progress, with hard work, I can continue to do so. This is a wonderful feeling.

It is so important that we recognize our progress – I can’t express this enough. Recognizing our achievements helps us to realize all that we can do and that overcoming and standing up to our fears isn’t as impossible as it may have originally seemed. Just because it may take more time than we’d like for us to make the amount of progress we want to see, doesn’t make it any less important and praise-worthy.

I want to tell you all something else that is very important – no matter how many steps or how small the steps might seem, every positive step towards progress matters! Don’t let anyone tell you anything different. If you’re taking positive steps in the right direction, it matters! Hard work matters!

 

 

The Prickly Part

In my last post, I mentioned how I changed my blog’s background and how I thought it fit with the theme of the blog perfectly. While dealing with anxiety and other mental health issues can be prickly and painful at times like a cactus, if you work hard on a consistent basis to overcome your obstacles, you can achieve progress – a beautiful thing.

While I have experienced many beautiful days of witnessing my progress, today included one of the painful and prickly parts that oftentimes occur with struggling with anxiety. Today I saw myself slip backwards, something that is never easy to see.

I went out with a relative today and because it took longer than expected, I began to grow anxious. I’m embarrassed to say this, but sometimes when I’m out and I feel so anxious that I can’t move, I end up sitting on the floor. It makes me feel pathetic.

I haven’t done this in a while. Lately when I go in somewhere (while it may not be for very long), I usually do pretty well. I might need a little bit of help, but I don’t resort to sitting down. Today was different though and it reminded me of all the times in the past when I did this – too many to count.

I like to keep this blog pretty positive, but sometimes I admit that it’s hard. It’s hard to give myself credit for at least trying to go in where I went today and not leaving early, or saying that sometimes things just don’t work out. It’s hard to stay positive while inside, I’m beating myself up for not doing better.

That’s the thing with struggling with anxiety, or any other mental health issue for that matter. Sometimes it’s difficult to see the positivity and light when you feel like you’re surrounded by negativity and darkness.

Here’s what we have to remember. We have to remember all of the times that we’ve faced our fears or overcome our obstacles. We have to remember all of the times that we’ve made progress. Though it may be difficult to believe, just because we struggle or experience times of temporary regression, it does not mean that our past progress or current progress is erased. It also doesn’t mean that we won’t make progress ever again.

So let’s all do ourselves a favor and cut ourselves a break. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t get a little upset when things don’t go how we want (after all, sometimes getting a little upset with ourselves shows us that we have to work harder), but what I am saying is that we have to stop always getting so down on ourselves and, instead, focus on all of the amazing things that we have accomplished and how hard we try on a daily basis to be successful!

If you’re currently struggling or if you’re feeling down about not doing as well at something as you would have hoped, please remember that we all struggle. Also, please try and focus on all the good that you have accomplished and can continue to accomplish with hard work.

 

Drawing From Experience

B.W. Ginsburg

Hey everybody!

As many of you may already know, I am currently working on writing my third book. While the first two were fictional and didn’t hold much truth to them in terms of the plot, there will be some drawing from my own experiences for my next novel.

One of the central themes in my next novel will be mental health – more specifically, anxiety. Since this is a main topic, I will be using some of my own experiences with anxiety to tell the story.

This isn’t necessarily easy for me and I know that for many of you, writing about your issues or struggles can be extremely difficult. While sometimes it can help one feel better, it can also bring about feelings and emotions that can be difficult to deal with. However, as many of you know, writing about your experiences, can be very beneficial to both…

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Realization

Hey everybody! I hope you’re all doing well!

So, I’ve been feeling a bit depressed lately. As many of you may already know, I don’t have a job and I still live at home due to my anxiety. I don’t wish to share my age online, but usually, people are on their own and working by this time in their life. I admit that this weighs on me – I would love to have a job by now and maybe even live on my own. I want to be more independent and unfortunately, my anxiety often stands in my way.

Another thing that always bothers me is the idea that I may never get through my anxiety and be able to do the things I want to do. I don’t always want to be held back due to fear standing in the way of success.

I also admit that sometimes I look at my success over the years and feel that I haven’t made enough progress. I’ve been struggling with anxiety for a long time now and I feel like, maybe, I should be a lot better by now. Here’s what I realized earlier today though – I have made progress and I can continue to do so if I keep working my hardest.

That’s the thing – if we’ve made progress, then that right there is proof that we can continue to do so. Maybe we won’t improve overnight, but with time and effort, we can overcome our anxiety and other obstacles.

I know that I’ve mentioned all of these things before, but I really do believe that it’s important to remind ourselves of our ability to get through the hardest of times. We cannot allow ourselves to forget just how amazing and capable of success we all truly are.

Hurtful Words

The things people say to us can be hurtful – period. We’d all like to be able to just shrug off rude comments, but it’s not always that simple. Especially when mean things are spoken by those who love us, it can be difficult not to let what is said effect us.

Today a close relative said something very, very hurtful to me. Not only did it insult my intelligence, but it reminded me of just how much I struggle with anxiety and how much pain it truly causes me. Also, the words that were spoken by my relative showed their lack of faith in me and the lack of faith they have in the possibility of me being successful – something that is never easy to hear from someone you love.

I’m not going to lie. I started wondering if the words spoken held some merit. Maybe I deserved to be spoken to so unkindly. Maybe I don’t deserve to be believed in. After all, I have suffered from anxiety for a long time and sometimes I even wonder if I’ll ever get through it and be able to overcome my obstacles enough to have a job, etc. It can be hard to know what to believe when there are people around you making you believe that you’re hopeless.

What I need to remember though – what we all need to remember – is that I have made progress. We need to remember that as long as we continue to work hard, that we will continue to make even more progress. It may be hard for us to believe, but we have to have faith in ourselves – no matter if others do or not.

It might be hard sometimes to focus on your accomplishments. Especially in the heat of negativity being thrown your way, it can be hard to dismiss it as untrue. I think we all tend to question whether or not the cruel comments of others are true, especially if they deal with something that bothers us on a regular basis. However, we can’t be tempted to give up on ourselves – we have to show ourselves that we can succeed! We do deserve to be believed in!