The things people say to us can be hurtful – period. We’d all like to be able to just shrug off rude comments, but it’s not always that simple. Especially when mean things are spoken by those who love us, it can be difficult not to let what is said effect us.
Today a close relative said something very, very hurtful to me. Not only did it insult my intelligence, but it reminded me of just how much I struggle with anxiety and how much pain it truly causes me. Also, the words that were spoken by my relative showed their lack of faith in me and the lack of faith they have in the possibility of me being successful – something that is never easy to hear from someone you love.
I’m not going to lie. I started wondering if the words spoken held some merit. Maybe I deserved to be spoken to so unkindly. Maybe I don’t deserve to be believed in. After all, I have suffered from anxiety for a long time and sometimes I even wonder if I’ll ever get through it and be able to overcome my obstacles enough to have a job, etc. It can be hard to know what to believe when there are people around you making you believe that you’re hopeless.
What I need to remember though – what we all need to remember – is that I have made progress. We need to remember that as long as we continue to work hard, that we will continue to make even more progress. It may be hard for us to believe, but we have to have faith in ourselves – no matter if others do or not.
It might be hard sometimes to focus on your accomplishments. Especially in the heat of negativity being thrown your way, it can be hard to dismiss it as untrue. I think we all tend to question whether or not the cruel comments of others are true, especially if they deal with something that bothers us on a regular basis. However, we can’t be tempted to give up on ourselves – we have to show ourselves that we can succeed! We do deserve to be believed in!
I can’t speak for everyone, but I think that struggling with anxiety over the years has made it harder for me to focus on the positive. Instead, I find myself constantly worrying that I’ll never get through my anxiety, never accomplish my dreams, and never get to where I want in life.
These are all scary thoughts and ones that if we aren’t careful, can control and possibly ruin our lives. However, we all experience good times and it is these moments, that we must try our hardest to focus on.
Experiencing times of success is a positive sign – it allows us to realize that we are capable of overcoming our obstacles and living a more satisfying life.
So if you are the type of person who tends to concentrate on the bad instead of the good, make a conscious effort to note when you are having a good day. If it’s hard for you to remember these moments, write them down. We need to make sure that we have a way of recalling the times that we are most proud of.
Finding something positive to distract yourself is very important when dealing with anxiety. Anxiety has a way of settling in your mind and taking up roots; of trying to convince you of things that aren’t true and making you over-think.
It can be difficult not to fall under the spell of anxiety – not to let it get its claws under your skin. After all, no one likes to struggle with anxiety and when something makes you feel weak, the last thing you feel like doing sometimes is fighting.
However, we have to stand up to anxiety and make it realize that it’s not worth our time. We have to do and think of positive things instead. If you’re lying down over-thinking, try to get up! If you can’t seem to get your mind off of the negative and don’t know what to do, read a book, watch a show or movie, get out of the house if you can! Think about the people you love, the places you love to go, the things you love to do! Exercise, call someone you trust and like talking to on the phone, go online and surf the web. Do something positive to get your mind off of the negative!
Anxiety can be scary, tiring, and frustrating – I know this. We don’t have to be complacent though or let it take over our lives. We have the power to get through our anxiety and to get our mind focused on better, more positive things!
I’ve dealt with a few extremely negative people in my life. They say cruel things and while a huge part of me wishes I could just ignore these hateful comments, it’s not always easy. I admit that oftentimes, they really do tear me apart. No one likes hearing others say negative things about them, especially when these words come from the ones they love the most.
Recently, someone said something to me that really hurt. Even if it wasn’t meant to, it reminded me of how much more I wish I was doing with my life. Also, the comment was simply rude. However, while it didn’t make me feel 100% better, reminding myself of all the wonderful things I’ve accomplished (and will continue to) did help.
Next time someone makes a negative comment and you wonder if what they’re saying is valid, remember all of the positive things about yourself. Remember all of the amazing things that you’ve done. I guarantee that there are a lot to choose from. Let me give you an example of some of the things I’ve accomplished that help me remember that the negative comment made was not valid:
1.) I am working on a story and have written more than 100 pages so far!
- This is a wonderful accomplishment that takes commitment. Not a lot of people can write a story let alone be so dedicated.
2.) I write this blog
- Not only do I write this blog to help myself, but I write it to help others. I’ve met some amazing people through writing. Once again, writing and keeping up with a blog takes dedication. This isn’t a trait that everyone has.
3.) I’ve written guest posts and articles for other blogs
- It’s been (and continues to be) an amazing journey writing for other amazing blogs. While I may not be the most talented writer in the world, I do think it takes talent to be allowed to write for such amazing blogs! Thanks to everyone who has given me this opportunity.
4.) I try every day to get through my anxiety
- While there are definitely days when I should try even harder, I try hard to overcome my anxiety, something that’s not always easy to do. Also, even though I still struggle, I have made a lot of progress and continue to practice.
5.) I read and am currently reading a book. I’m on page 295.
- Reading not only helps one improve their mind, but it also is something that takes dedication. It’s a healthy hobby as well.
6.) I’ve been practicing drawing and become much better at it.
- There was a time when I wasn’t very good at drawing and hardly tried at all. Now I’m quite proud of some of the things I’ve drawn and even had the courage to post them.
These are just some of the things that I continue to accomplish. Next time someone says something negative about you, remind yourself of all of your positive attributes and accomplishments!
Marie Therese talks about the importance of having confidence in ourselves and not needing others’ approval. Please check out her blog. I just discovered it and love it!
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