How To Dismiss the Negativity of Others

Hi everybody. This afternoon, I would like to discuss the topic of negativity. Specifically, the negative words and comments that we hear from others. While some of you may be familiar with why I am writing about this topic today (I recently posted a little about it on Instagram), I will provide the background story.

A couple of days ago, I was at a relative’s house. As I usually do when I go to this person’s house, I spent a good part of the day outside. Due to the heat, I ask that my relative bring out the fan and yes, sometimes I do ask for help getting around. For the most part, however, I felt I did well outside getting around the other day.

I did, at one point, get panicky. To make matters worse, my relative does not have air conditioning. I’m not sure what the logic is behind this, but severe heat seems to only add to my anxiety. So, yes, I asked my relative for more help – to bring me a fan and water.

The point of me telling you all this is because I want to prove that I am not blinded by how my anxiety can not only be frustrating and a pain to myself, but to others. Still, I still know I deserve respect. All of you do as well.

At one point, I simply called my relative’s name and I was snapped at. From then on, things only grew worse. I was told that my relative “could not accommodate my needs” and that they had been hearing me calling their name all day. Here was a person that was supposed to help me and be kind and understanding, treating me as if I was a burden.

I expressed how I felt. I told them that I was trying my best. They said they knew that, but it certainly did not seem that way. While later on, I did receive an apology from the individual saying that they were sorry they snapped at me, the first apology was hardly one at all. My relative had at first said, “I’m sorry you’re mad at me.”

Once the person I’m referring to was out of earshot, I went in the other room and cried. I truly felt like an inconvenience. While this person is in no way a horrible individual or constantly cruel, when they are, it hurts more than I can explain. As I’m sure some of you know, being treated like a burden – especially by someone you love – is not easy.

What I find really difficult sometimes, is not believing I’m a burden. It can be hard when I’ve heard the negative and cruel comments of others. It can be hard when people sometimes make it like being around me is a chore. So how do I remember that I’m not a burden? That I’m trying my hardest and am loved?

I focus on the progress I’ve made. I focus on those who love and support me. I remember that even if someone has been mean to me about my anxiety, that it doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t care or love me. Some people just don’t understand, are impatient, or can be cruel at times. I also remember that it’s okay that I’m not perfect and that no one is.

Just because someone may treat you like a burden, doesn’t make you are one. We all struggle. Some people just aren’t good at sympathizing with and understanding others. They focus on how hard things are for them and tend to forget that someone else is struggling and trying their best too. I know how much my relative does for me, but that doesn’t mean I’m not doing a lot too. It just means that sometimes, because of my anxiety, things are harder, I can’t do things as easily, or always all at once.

For anyone who has ever been treated like a burden, I’m sorry. You don’t deserve that. No one does. Also, please know that you are not one. You are strong, brave, and worthy of someone’s time and love. We all struggle and none of us are perfect. Instead of focusing on the cruel actions and words of others, please focus on your progress, loved ones who show you kindness, and the fact that you are cared for.

Thanks for reading and I hope you have a great weekend.

-B.

 

 

 

 

Happy Thanksgiving!

First of all, I’d like to wish everyone who celebrates, a happy Thanksgiving! For those of you who don’t celebrate, I hope you have a great day!

I would like to take some time to thank all of you who have supported, and continue to support, me in my journey to get through anxiety. As many of you know, dealing with anxiety is extremely difficult and it definitely helps to know that there are people out there who genuinely care about, and maybe even understand, what you are going through. Thank you for all of your support, advice, and kindness over the years. It means the world to me.

Please know that I am here for each and every one of you if you ever need to talk about your own mental health issues. I hope you all have a wonderful day. Stay strong and remember how truly amazing you are!

Simple Respect

Today I would like to talk about something very close to my heart – simple respect.

First of all, as many of you know, I suffer from severe anxiety. I overthink and sometimes I get so anxious, that my body feels weak. While I’m smart enough to know that nothing is wrong with me physically, that does not stop my body from going through the motions.

I am ashamed to say, that sometimes, feeling weak due to my anxiety causes me to sit down in inconvenient places – on the floors in restaurants, in stairwells when I was going to school (not actually on the steps themselves, but the landing in between), etc. I hate this! It’s embarrassing and I know what an inconvenience it is for others, as well as for myself. With that being said, I am not able to just snap my fingers and make my anxiety vanish without a trace. I wish I could, but I can’t. Also, I think that people around someone struggling should be understanding. If they don’t know how to help, fine, but they shouldn’t go out of their way to make things more difficult.

Let me give you an example. Today I went to a restaurant and became extremely anxious. I had to sit down on the floor. Am I proud of this? No. Am I embarrassed? Yes. People stared. While I didn’t like that, I understood. As human beings, we’re curious and me sitting there looking panicky probably seemed strange. Fine. However, one of the workers at this particular restaurant gave me an extremely dirty look and was very rude.

I understand that what I did was not appropriate or proper. I understand that sitting on the floor at a restaurant is not what is perceived as normal. Like I said, I’m extremely embarrassed. Even so, I do not think I deserve to be treated the way I was. I was not disruptive to any of the customers (I quietly sat down and waited about a minute before I could get back up) and other than people staring, I did not cause a big scene.

If you are reading this and you work at a business where you are around a lot of people, please remember to be kind and considerate. You may not understand what someone is going through, but that does not mean that they do not deserve your respect. Also, if you want to ask someone nicely to please try harder to get through their struggles, do so nicely. Trust me when I say that it is hard enough for someone to go through something difficult without others making them feel even worse than they already do.

If you would like advice on how to be kinder to those around you, please do not hesitate to ask. Also if you see someone struggling and want to help, but don’t know how, please ask them in a polite matter. Sometimes just trying your best to be kind can make all the difference.

National Mental Health Day

Today is National Mental Health Day. Before I begin, I would like to thank everyone who supports me in my journey to get through anxiety. It’s a difficult issue to deal with and I am extremely grateful for your support!

One of the things that really bothers me are the misconceptions that surround mental health issues. There are many that upset me, but one of the ones that I personally deal with the most is the assumption that mental health issues are easy to get through and that they are a sign of immaturity, weakness, or laziness. None of these things are true. Mental health issues can be just as difficult to deal with as physical ones. For some reason, many people seem to dismiss this fact.

Battling with negative thoughts, irrational fears, and other mental health problems is not easy. It’s not something that you can just snap out of. Just because getting through anxiety or over other obstacles can take time, does not mean that those who struggle are not trying their absolute hardest on a daily basis.

I personally have struggled with anxiety for several years and know first hand how difficult dealing with the mental health issue can be. There are so many things that I love to do that anxiety holds me back from doing. Yes, I try my hardest to overcome my fears, but that does not mean that my anxiety will just vanish. I only wish it was that simple.

I know that I can’t expect everyone to understand – none of us can. There will always be people who don’t know what it’s like to struggle with a mental health issue. There will always be people who think that we are making up our struggles or simply not strong enough to overcome them. What’s important is that we believe in ourselves and that we remind ourselves that we are stronger than our anxiety.

If you are reading this and are someone who finds it difficult to understand what others go through, please try to remember that we all struggle with something. Just because you may not deal with the same issues, does not mean that they are not real. Also, even if you can’t exactly understand what someone is going through, please try your hardest to be kind to those around you.

To those of you who struggle, you can get through this!

 

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!

Okay, I have some pretty exciting news! I have officially reached over 1,000 followers on here! So many of you are such amazing friends and have continued to be utterly supportive throughout the years. I cannot thank you enough! I originally started this blog when my therapist and dad both told me that writing about my anxiety might help me feel better, along with help others to realize that they are not alone in their struggles. Just thinking that I could have made a difference means the world to me and the fact that so many of you have been here for me is truly inspirational and appreciated!

I know that I haven’t been on here as much as I used to be, and for that, I’m sorry. I intend to check in on you guys more often because so many of you have been here for me when I’ve needed someone to talk to. I wish I could express in words what that’s meant to me, but I don’t think that I can. Please just trust me when I say that your friendship and loving comments have truly made a difference.

I hope you all know that if you ever need to talk, I’m here for you. I hope you also know that even if it feels like you’re alone in dealing with your struggles, you’re not. There will always be people that will care about you and love you, and if you look carefully, you will find someone that you can trust and share your feelings and experiences with.

I also want to tell you this – you can get through your struggles and over your obstacles! If you work hard on a consistent basis and never give up, you will succeed. You may not get through your challenges overnight, but if you put in the effort to make progress, it will happen! I know that sometimes it may feel otherwise, I know there are times when I still wonder if I’ll ever get through my anxiety. I have to remember though that I have made progress, because you know what? I have!

So again, thank you to everyone who follows my blog! Thank you to all of the wonderful people I have met on here and to those of you who have been such amazing friends! Thanks for the incredibly kind and supportive comments and for reminding me that I am not alone in my journey of getting through anxiety!

Thank You,

-B.

 

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Progress Is Progress – Don’t Let Anyone Tell You Otherwise!

Maybe every time you’ve ever shared your progress with someone else, they’ve commended you. Maybe you’ve never had someone question how the progress you’ve made can really be labeled as such. I think that’s great. However, I know that I, for one, have experienced otherwise.

Don’t get me wrong, many times when I share my progress with someone, they are proud of me and express those feelings of pride. They understand that if I’m doing something that I previously struggled with – no matter what it is – that it matters. Even if the step towards success may seem small, they see that it’s important.

On the opposite end, I’ve had people question my progress. I’ve mentioned that I did something that I usually back away from and instead of hearing their praise or that they think I did well, they just ask how it’s a big deal; how it qualifies as progress. I’m not going to lie – it hurts. I’m not saying that I constantly need recognition, but the last thing a person wants when they share their accomplishments with you, is to feel belittled or shut down. Any of us who have ever struggled with anything, know how difficult it can be to overcome our obstacles. We also know how good and refreshing it feels when it’s clear that they we stronger than what is holding us back. We want to be built up by ourselves and the ones we love, not torn down.

If you’ve experienced what I have – that some people aren’t understanding or kind when it comes to our struggles and hearing about our progress – then here is my advice. I recommend trying to save sharing your progress for the people who will actually appreciate and respect it. I know it’s hard not to want to shout your progress from the rooftop, but sometimes lending your happiness to others is a risky concept. Not everyone will be supportive and instead of showing you the respect you deserve, some will simply share harsh or careless words.

Again, and this is important to remember, there are people who will support, respect, and care for you. There are people who will go out of their way to cheer you on and to make you feel as special as you truly are. These are the people you want to allow into your lives and share both your good and bad times with. Don’t allow others to take away your sense of pride and accomplishment. No one can take away your progress, no one!

Please, Don’t Add To The Chaos!

Serenity

Okay, many of you know that I’m not happy about Trump becoming president. However, the news about smashing of windows and other violent acts makes me sad. We are supposed to be upset that Trump is president because of his violent thinking – why do so many individuals insist on adding to the violence? This is one thing that I will never understand.

Maybe some people think that being violent and adding to the chaos will get Trump’s attention. The thing is though that being violent is just going to show Trump that violence is the answer – and it’s not. If anything, we should be trying even harder now to be kind to others and to contribute peace to the world.

I know this is a difficult day for many – it’s difficult for me too. However, please try to have faith in yourselves and those around you. There…

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Being Around Great People, Compliments, and Good Days!

There’s definitely something to be said about being around people who respect, understand, and care for you. There are so many people in this world that just being around them, brightens your day. These people are amazing and they should be reminded as such. Not only are they there for you, but they make you feel good about yourself. They leave you feeling strong and extra-confident.

Yesterday I got my hair cut by an amazing woman. She’s smart, funny, and kind. She understands what I go through and she makes an effort to make me feel good about myself and really listen to what I have to say. I love having people like this in my life. Though there are some people that will never be able to understand what we go through and who have trouble showing respect, there are others who will go out of their way to make the world a better, kinder place. I am very happy to say that I have people like this in my life.

We should all aspire to be individuals who care for others. We should all offer sincere compliments, a listening ear, and a shoulder to cry on if needed. We should all strive to make someone’s day a little better and you know what? We all have the ability to be that kind of person!

Paying the Kindness (Not Cruelty) Forward

Serenity

As many of you probably are aware, I struggle with anxiety. It can be really painful emotionally to struggle so mightily and the last thing I want is to be yelled at or scolded for having something that is hard to control. With that being said, I have come to understand that some people, no matter what, have a difficult time being kind to those who struggle. It’s a sad, but true fact.

The thing that is even harder to understand is when people who have struggled (or struggle) themselves with the same or similar issue as your own, still manage to treat you like crap. I know that anxiety can be frustrating (man, do I know that), but that’s no reason to treat others who suffer so terribly. In fact, if you’re going through something similar (or have in the past), that should make you more empathetic. Or at…

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