More About The Seeds 4 Life

About The Seeds 4 Life

B.W. Ginsburg

Hey everybody! So while I was updating this site, I added a link in the menu for my articles on the inspirational website, The Seeds 4 Life. This site, and the fact that I was given the opportunity to be a freelancer, means the world to me. Therefore, I would like to go into a little more detail on what The Seeds 4 Life is all about. As cited on their website,

“TheSeeds4Life is a website that provides both inspirational messages and personal development articles.  All are based around a wide range of quotes in the areas of self-development, personal growth, and self-improvement. 
This site was created around the idea that your mind functions like a garden, with your thoughts acting like the Seeds.  The more inspirational or positive thoughts you Seed within your mind, the more flowers you’ll grow.  However, Seed your mind with more thoughts of defeat…

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Choosing Wisely

Today I’m going to have a good day. Before you think, that’s easier said than done sometimes, let me explain.

Last year around this time, I was going somewhere with a relative of mine. To say the least, I was very excited. Now, I was also a bit apprehensive because going anywhere with my anxiety can sometimes be a struggle. However, I knew I’d be in the comfort of someone’s home and with people I trusted, so I felt that everything would be fine. Turns out, that wasn’t exactly the case.

While in terms of my anxiety, I did okay, I was made to feel miserable nonetheless. With the type of anxiety I deal with, I sometimes feel more comfortable eating in a comfortable space such as a living room where there are couches instead of regular tables and chairs. While I understand that some people do not wish their guests to eat in their living rooms, I do not think there is anything wrong with asking if it is okay to do so.

I stated earlier in this post that I felt comfortable around the people whom I was visiting. This is true. At the same time, however, I had only really met them one other time. Therefore, I kindly asked my relative if she could ask if it would be alright if I ate in the living room. She refused to ask. Instead, she said I could, “Eat on the kitchen floor!”

I was very hurt and upset. I could hardly believe my ears! I was not going to be forced to sit and eat on the floor. Not to mention, the fact that my relative would even say this absolutely crushed my heart. Instead of simply asking if I could eat somewhere, she made someone she loved feel like absolute garbage.

So today, instead of going out like I did last year to the same place, I’m staying home. I honestly don’t think that the person would have minded me eating in her living room (at the end of the day, she actually said that I could), but I don’t want to go through the same hassle with my relative, not knowing if I will be treated poorly. The funny thing is that the hosts of the home in which we visited were kinder to me that day than my own family member was. This is hard to accept, but it’s something that I have to realize and learn from.

I’m not saying that I’ll never go to this particular place with my relative again, but I will be smarter about saying yes when asked if I’d like to go. I want to be with people who respect me and who will support and help me in any way possible – not make me feel small and alone. I spent more than half the day last year starving when I didn’t have to, all because the person I loved couldn’t ask a simple question for me.

Today I’m going to make sure I have a good day. I’m going to make sure that I find a way to enjoy the decision I made. Even though it hurts that I couldn’t spend time with people I enjoy being around in a nice place, I’m happier at home where I know I’ll be respected by everyone and not just the majority. The only thing that really upsets me is that I think it’s a shame that because of one person – the person I’d be closest to if I went today – not being able to be helpful and supportive, I can’t go somewhere I enjoy.

Please remember that sometimes it’s okay to say no when you’re invited out. It’s important to do what’s best for you and what will make you feel good. Make the decision that you know you won’t regret.

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Focusing On The Good

I can’t speak for everyone, but I think that struggling with anxiety over the years has made it harder for me to focus on the positive. Instead, I find myself constantly worrying that I’ll never get through my anxiety,  never accomplish my dreams, and never get to where I want in life.

These are all scary thoughts and ones that if we aren’t careful, can control and possibly ruin our lives. However, we all experience good times and it is these moments, that we must try our hardest to focus on.

Experiencing times of success is a positive sign – it allows us to realize that we are capable of overcoming our obstacles and living a more satisfying life.

So if you are the type of person who tends to concentrate on the bad instead of the good, make a conscious effort to note when you are having a good day. If it’s hard for you to remember these moments, write them down. We need to make sure that we have a way of recalling the times that we are most proud of.

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Happy Thanksgiving!

First of all, I’d like to wish everyone who celebrates, a happy Thanksgiving! For those of you who don’t celebrate, I hope you have a great day!

I would like to take some time to thank all of you who have supported, and continue to support, me in my journey to get through anxiety. As many of you know, dealing with anxiety is extremely difficult and it definitely helps to know that there are people out there who genuinely care about, and maybe even understand, what you are going through. Thank you for all of your support, advice, and kindness over the years. It means the world to me.

Please know that I am here for each and every one of you if you ever need to talk about your own mental health issues. I hope you all have a wonderful day. Stay strong and remember how truly amazing you are!

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Simple Respect

Today I would like to talk about something very close to my heart – simple respect.

First of all, as many of you know, I suffer from severe anxiety. I overthink and sometimes I get so anxious, that my body feels weak. While I’m smart enough to know that nothing is wrong with me physically, that does not stop my body from going through the motions.

I am ashamed to say, that sometimes, feeling weak due to my anxiety causes me to sit down in inconvenient places – on the floors in restaurants, in stairwells when I was going to school (not actually on the steps themselves, but the landing in between), etc. I hate this! It’s embarrassing and I know what an inconvenience it is for others, as well as for myself. With that being said, I am not able to just snap my fingers and make my anxiety vanish without a trace. I wish I could, but I can’t. Also, I think that people around someone struggling should be understanding. If they don’t know how to help, fine, but they shouldn’t go out of their way to make things more difficult.

Let me give you an example. Today I went to a restaurant and became extremely anxious. I had to sit down on the floor. Am I proud of this? No. Am I embarrassed? Yes. People stared. While I didn’t like that, I understood. As human beings, we’re curious and me sitting there looking panicky probably seemed strange. Fine. However, one of the workers at this particular restaurant gave me an extremely dirty look and was very rude.

I understand that what I did was not appropriate or proper. I understand that sitting on the floor at a restaurant is not what is perceived as normal. Like I said, I’m extremely embarrassed. Even so, I do not think I deserve to be treated the way I was. I was not disruptive to any of the customers (I quietly sat down and waited about a minute before I could get back up) and other than people staring, I did not cause a big scene.

If you are reading this and you work at a business where you are around a lot of people, please remember to be kind and considerate. You may not understand what someone is going through, but that does not mean that they do not deserve your respect. Also, if you want to ask someone nicely to please try harder to get through their struggles, do so nicely. Trust me when I say that it is hard enough for someone to go through something difficult without others making them feel even worse than they already do.

If you would like advice on how to be kinder to those around you, please do not hesitate to ask. Also if you see someone struggling and want to help, but don’t know how, please ask them in a polite matter. Sometimes just trying your best to be kind can make all the difference.

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“I’ve Been Here Before”

I’ve been here before.

This is what I thought last night as I struggled with anxiety. I thought about how I was tired of ending up in the same situation – feeling both sad and weak due to my anxiety. I thought about how I wish I could go back to doing simple things without feeling anxious.

I’m not going to sit here and tell you that I never feel hopeless and downtrodden, because I do. I hate feeling burdened with anxiety; feeling like its in control. Believe it or not, I used to be someone who loved to go out shopping, hang out with friends, and be able to do things without much stress. I still like doing those things, but I don’t feel like they’re easy anymore. I hate that feeling.

As I sat struggling last night, I wondered how and if I’d ever get through my anxiety. After all, I’ve been going through it for so long, how can I be sure it will ever be a thing of the past? I don’t think this is a totally unreasonable question. It’s hard to have faith sometimes when you constantly see yourself suffering.

The thing that we all have to remember, is that many of us have made progress. Many of us have faced our fears and succeeded – I know I have. Just because we may have bad days or moments, does not mean that we haven’t experienced times of achievement or that we’re not on the road to recovery. All it means is that we have to work harder on a more consistent basis. We will get through our anxiety and over our other obstacles!

So if you’re wondering how you’re supposed to believe in yourself, you’re not alone. I think many people feel this way. It’s okay to sometimes feel less than 100% confident, you’re only human. What’s not okay is to allow these doubts to take control, to give them credence. We are stronger than our obstacles!

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National Mental Health Day

Today is National Mental Health Day. Before I begin, I would like to thank everyone who supports me in my journey to get through anxiety. It’s a difficult issue to deal with and I am extremely grateful for your support!

One of the things that really bothers me are the misconceptions that surround mental health issues. There are many that upset me, but one of the ones that I personally deal with the most is the assumption that mental health issues are easy to get through and that they are a sign of immaturity, weakness, or laziness. None of these things are true. Mental health issues can be just as difficult to deal with as physical ones. For some reason, many people seem to dismiss this fact.

Battling with negative thoughts, irrational fears, and other mental health problems is not easy. It’s not something that you can just snap out of. Just because getting through anxiety or over other obstacles can take time, does not mean that those who struggle are not trying their absolute hardest on a daily basis.

I personally have struggled with anxiety for several years and know first hand how difficult dealing with the mental health issue can be. There are so many things that I love to do that anxiety holds me back from doing. Yes, I try my hardest to overcome my fears, but that does not mean that my anxiety will just vanish. I only wish it was that simple.

I know that I can’t expect everyone to understand – none of us can. There will always be people who don’t know what it’s like to struggle with a mental health issue. There will always be people who think that we are making up our struggles or simply not strong enough to overcome them. What’s important is that we believe in ourselves and that we remind ourselves that we are stronger than our anxiety.

If you are reading this and are someone who finds it difficult to understand what others go through, please try to remember that we all struggle with something. Just because you may not deal with the same issues, does not mean that they are not real. Also, even if you can’t exactly understand what someone is going through, please try your hardest to be kind to those around you.

To those of you who struggle, you can get through this!

 

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