Seeking Approval

Hi everybody! So, I know that I’ve touched on this subject before, but I’d like to talk about how many of us spend our time seeking the approval of others.

There is one person in particular who I’ve noticed I’m constantly trying to ‘impress’ – my mom. Unfortunately, she isn’t someone who really understands my struggle with anxiety as much as I would hope, which, in turn, makes me feel the need to show her that I am, in fact, making progress. The thing is, however, that I shouldn’t have to point it out to her and doing so, makes me feel kind of pathetic.

Don’t get me wrong – my mom has started noticing on her own that I’m doing better in some cases. This makes me extremely happy and proud of myself. Still, I find myself asking, “Did I do well?” and when I hear myself ask this, I find myself becoming a bit disappointed in myself. Why? Because it shouldn’t matter what my mom or anyone else says or thinks. As long as I’m making progress and recognize this fact, that’s all that should matter.

Therefore, I’ve decided something – not to ask the question of whether or not someone thinks I’ve done well at something. If someone wants to express how well I did themselves, that’s great – if not, that’s okay too. I’m going to depend on myself to judge my progress.

I think that by allowing myself to decide when I’ve done well, I’m giving myself more confidence – I’m not waiting for someone else to give me praise or determine how successful I’ve been. In my opinion, allowing others to judge us just adds unnecessary anxiety. So please don’t wait for others to say that you’re doing a good job, pat yourself on the back when you do well!

 

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Getting Better (and recognizing it)!

I’ve been reflecting lately on something extremely important – how I really have made a good amount of progress when it comes to getting through my anxiety. While I admit that I’m still not where I want to be in terms of not allowing anxiety to interfere with my life, I also see that I’ve made a lot of improvements and that I’m quite proud of myself.

I can’t speak for everyone, of course, but I know that for me, one of my biggest fears is that I’ll never get through my anxiety like I want to – that anxiety will always hold me back from what I want to achieve. I hate the idea of never overcoming my fears and it scares me that there’s a possibility that I’ll always feel enslaved to something so awful. However, I also realize that because I’ve made so much progress, with hard work, I can continue to do so. This is a wonderful feeling.

It is so important that we recognize our progress – I can’t express this enough. Recognizing our achievements helps us to realize all that we can do and that overcoming and standing up to our fears isn’t as impossible as it may have originally seemed. Just because it may take more time than we’d like for us to make the amount of progress we want to see, doesn’t make it any less important and praise-worthy.

I want to tell you all something else that is very important – no matter how many steps or how small the steps might seem, every positive step towards progress matters! Don’t let anyone tell you anything different. If you’re taking positive steps in the right direction, it matters! Hard work matters!

 

 

Inspiration Unbound: Themes

Hey everybody! Since Gary Ginsburg and I recently released our new book, Inspiration Unbound, I thought I would take some time to share some of the themes included in the book with all of you! Thank you for your support!

THEMES:

  • Inspiration – Where to find it; sources thereof
  • Love – The importance of loving others and allowing others to love you
  • Confidence – How to search for your own confidence and not always allow others to define your self-worth
  • Positivity – How to hold your head up high and not allow others to bring you down; the importance of staying positive in even the darkest of times
  • Friendship – How to look for true friends and how to be a true friend – to get to know someone and not judge them. The importance of learning that true friends do not try to ‘fix’ you, but learn to love and respect you, along with offer their assistance in a respectful manner.
  • Mental health, especially anxiety – How not to allow anxiety and one’s obstacles to rule one’s life – to work hard to overcome one’s struggles.
  • Consistent practice – the importance of practice and accepting that perfection isn’t possible. Working hard to face our fears and not allowing them to control us.

All of these themes and many more can be found in Inspiration Unbound, written by myself and Gary Ginsburg. These themes are explored in both article and poetry form. The book can be purchased on Amazon.com, simply by visiting this link. Thank you!

 

New Writing Project!

B.W. Ginsburg

Hey everybody!

As many of you already know, I am currently working on a new novel! In addition, someone very special and I are working on an inspirational article and poetry book! I am very excited to share this news with all of you!

Struggling with anxiety, I have come to see the importance of gathering all the inspiration we can find. Whether it’s befriending someone who will be there to support us through thick and thin, or learning how to deal with past disappointments, we all need to search for ways to help us through the most difficult of times. I’m hoping that this collaboration with a loved one will help bring peace and hope to all of us who struggle.

In addition to being excited for this new project because I find it important to share words of wisdom and motivation, I am also thrilled to announce that…

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Good Days Are Possible

Some of you may know this, and some of you may not. Good days are possible.

I know that dealing with constant hardships can make it seem improbable that you will ever be happy and not burdened by worry, stress, and doubt. It may even seem as if good days simply aren’t in the cards for you; as if happiness just isn’t possible. The truth is though, that happiness is possible for all of us and so, are good days. We just have to work hard and fight for what we want.

Yesterday I had another great day. Let me tell you that there was a time when I doubted that I’d have a really good day like yesterday. After going out, a relative asked me how I had been doing lately and I explained that I was getting better at some things and that practicing facing my fears on a consistent basis was definitely helping me.

If you’re going through a tough time, I want you to know that there is hope – always. Please don’t give up on yourself and don’t give up on the fact that you can be happy and live a healthy, satisfying life. Good days are possible for all of us, and so is a good life.

 

The Prickly Part

In my last post, I mentioned how I changed my blog’s background and how I thought it fit with the theme of the blog perfectly. While dealing with anxiety and other mental health issues can be prickly and painful at times like a cactus, if you work hard on a consistent basis to overcome your obstacles, you can achieve progress – a beautiful thing.

While I have experienced many beautiful days of witnessing my progress, today included one of the painful and prickly parts that oftentimes occur with struggling with anxiety. Today I saw myself slip backwards, something that is never easy to see.

I went out with a relative today and because it took longer than expected, I began to grow anxious. I’m embarrassed to say this, but sometimes when I’m out and I feel so anxious that I can’t move, I end up sitting on the floor. It makes me feel pathetic.

I haven’t done this in a while. Lately when I go in somewhere (while it may not be for very long), I usually do pretty well. I might need a little bit of help, but I don’t resort to sitting down. Today was different though and it reminded me of all the times in the past when I did this – too many to count.

I like to keep this blog pretty positive, but sometimes I admit that it’s hard. It’s hard to give myself credit for at least trying to go in where I went today and not leaving early, or saying that sometimes things just don’t work out. It’s hard to stay positive while inside, I’m beating myself up for not doing better.

That’s the thing with struggling with anxiety, or any other mental health issue for that matter. Sometimes it’s difficult to see the positivity and light when you feel like you’re surrounded by negativity and darkness.

Here’s what we have to remember. We have to remember all of the times that we’ve faced our fears or overcome our obstacles. We have to remember all of the times that we’ve made progress. Though it may be difficult to believe, just because we struggle or experience times of temporary regression, it does not mean that our past progress or current progress is erased. It also doesn’t mean that we won’t make progress ever again.

So let’s all do ourselves a favor and cut ourselves a break. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t get a little upset when things don’t go how we want (after all, sometimes getting a little upset with ourselves shows us that we have to work harder), but what I am saying is that we have to stop always getting so down on ourselves and, instead, focus on all of the amazing things that we have accomplished and how hard we try on a daily basis to be successful!

If you’re currently struggling or if you’re feeling down about not doing as well at something as you would have hoped, please remember that we all struggle. Also, please try and focus on all the good that you have accomplished and can continue to accomplish with hard work.

 

Same Blog, Different Look!

Hey everyone! Just want to let you know that while I have changed the look of my blog, it still has the same posts and information as always! I think the new look is fitting since, while anxiety and mental health issues can make life a bit prickly, with hard work and faith in ourselves, life can be quite beautiful as well.

I hope you enjoy the new look of my blog and have a great day!

-B.

Drawing From Experience

B.W. Ginsburg

Hey everybody!

As many of you may already know, I am currently working on writing my third book. While the first two were fictional and didn’t hold much truth to them in terms of the plot, there will be some drawing from my own experiences for my next novel.

One of the central themes in my next novel will be mental health – more specifically, anxiety. Since this is a main topic, I will be using some of my own experiences with anxiety to tell the story.

This isn’t necessarily easy for me and I know that for many of you, writing about your issues or struggles can be extremely difficult. While sometimes it can help one feel better, it can also bring about feelings and emotions that can be difficult to deal with. However, as many of you know, writing about your experiences, can be very beneficial to both…

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Realization

Hey everybody! I hope you’re all doing well!

So, I’ve been feeling a bit depressed lately. As many of you may already know, I don’t have a job and I still live at home due to my anxiety. I don’t wish to share my age online, but usually, people are on their own and working by this time in their life. I admit that this weighs on me – I would love to have a job by now and maybe even live on my own. I want to be more independent and unfortunately, my anxiety often stands in my way.

Another thing that always bothers me is the idea that I may never get through my anxiety and be able to do the things I want to do. I don’t always want to be held back due to fear standing in the way of success.

I also admit that sometimes I look at my success over the years and feel that I haven’t made enough progress. I’ve been struggling with anxiety for a long time now and I feel like, maybe, I should be a lot better by now. Here’s what I realized earlier today though – I have made progress and I can continue to do so if I keep working my hardest.

That’s the thing – if we’ve made progress, then that right there is proof that we can continue to do so. Maybe we won’t improve overnight, but with time and effort, we can overcome our anxiety and other obstacles.

I know that I’ve mentioned all of these things before, but I really do believe that it’s important to remind ourselves of our ability to get through the hardest of times. We cannot allow ourselves to forget just how amazing and capable of success we all truly are.

Hurtful Words

The things people say to us can be hurtful – period. We’d all like to be able to just shrug off rude comments, but it’s not always that simple. Especially when mean things are spoken by those who love us, it can be difficult not to let what is said effect us.

Today a close relative said something very, very hurtful to me. Not only did it insult my intelligence, but it reminded me of just how much I struggle with anxiety and how much pain it truly causes me. Also, the words that were spoken by my relative showed their lack of faith in me and the lack of faith they have in the possibility of me being successful – something that is never easy to hear from someone you love.

I’m not going to lie. I started wondering if the words spoken held some merit. Maybe I deserved to be spoken to so unkindly. Maybe I don’t deserve to be believed in. After all, I have suffered from anxiety for a long time and sometimes I even wonder if I’ll ever get through it and be able to overcome my obstacles enough to have a job, etc. It can be hard to know what to believe when there are people around you making you believe that you’re hopeless.

What I need to remember though – what we all need to remember – is that I have made progress. We need to remember that as long as we continue to work hard, that we will continue to make even more progress. It may be hard for us to believe, but we have to have faith in ourselves – no matter if others do or not.

It might be hard sometimes to focus on your accomplishments. Especially in the heat of negativity being thrown your way, it can be hard to dismiss it as untrue. I think we all tend to question whether or not the cruel comments of others are true, especially if they deal with something that bothers us on a regular basis. However, we can’t be tempted to give up on ourselves – we have to show ourselves that we can succeed! We do deserve to be believed in!