Celebrating Your Accomplishments!

A lot of great things have come to blossom for me in these last two months. I started my first ‘real’ job and my book, Crimson Vows, sold out at Loganberry Books! These two events made me utterly happy and I am so grateful for these accomplishments.

I know I can’t speak for everyone, but sometimes my worrisome mind tends to try to destroy what’s good. When it comes to my job, I sometimes worry I’m not doing everything perfectly. When it comes to selling out of my book, I start wondering why it happened and found it hard at first to believe it did. I’m not going to lie, it’s still a little hard for me to believe. It’s something I’ve wanted for so long. Just like getting a job.

What I’ve come to realize, though, is that we have to celebrate our accomplishments. We have to believe in ourselves and be proud of ourselves. I worked hard to find a job, I got hired, and I’m doing my best. You know what? I think I’m doing really well. I also put a lot of work into writing Crimson Vows. It wasn’t easy going to Loganberry Books for the first time with anxiety and pitching my books (although Miesha did help make it a lot easier), but I did it. And you know what? It paid off!

There are times when we all struggle. There are times when we wonder if we’ll ever accomplish our goals. I truly believe that with hard, consistent effort, we will. I know it can sometimes be hard to see and believe, but it’s true.

For those of you who are struggling, hang tight and stay strong. Keep fighting for what you want. Don’t give up on your goals and when you achieve them, celebrate them!

I wish you all the best! 

Firsts

A couple of days ago, I did something for the first time in a long time – I went out with someone other than one of my parents. Not only did I travel with someone other than my mom or dad, but I did pretty well.

This was a very big deal. It is something that I am extremely proud of. While I am almost thirty years old and needed help going out, I went outside of my usual comfort zone and that is a humungous accomplishment. It’s been so long since I’ve trusted myself and been calm enough in terms of my anxiety to go out with a friend or relative who is not in my immediate family.

It honestly took me a while to realize just what a big accomplishment this occurrence was. Sure, I realized that I had gone out with a friend and did well, but I hadn’t really focused on how this was a new first – or at least how it hasn’t happened for a few years.

Without mentioning this individual by name, I would like to thank the person who went on this adventure with me. Thank you for being there for me; for supporting me. Thank you for being patient with me and not making me feel like a burden. I cannot express just how much your friendship means to me. 

To those of you out there who worry you’ll never make any progress, I can assure you that as long as you work on facing your fears on a consistent basis, you will make progress. It may take a while and probably won’t happen over night, but you will get better. If you take small steps and challenge yourself bit by bit, you will see yourself improving.

There is something else I want you all to know. Any steps you take in the right direction and any progress you make, should be celebrated. Some people may tell you that you should be further along. Heck, you might feel that way. However, progress is progress and no step towards getting better is insignificant. Instead of getting upset with yourself that you’re not doing even better than you currently are, try to focus on what you have achieved. Also, remember how far you’ve come and that you can continue to make progress.

I wish you all well. If you need to talk, please let me know. Stay strong and believe in yourself. You can overcome your anxiety!

I Remember When…

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Before I really get into this post, I’d like to wish everyone well, especially with what’s going on right now. I’m not super into mentioning the virus, because I know we’re already being bombarded with stories and facts about it, but I do want to recognize what’s happening and wish everyone the best of health.

Now onto what this post is really about – the fact that while we may still be struggling with something, we should (and oftentimes, need), to focus on the good. The following is from a post I just wrote on my Instagram feed @b.w.ginsburg48. My account is private, but please feel free to send me a request to follow me if you so choose.

From my Instagram:

Lately I’ve been feeling kind of down. My birthday is soon and while this makes me happy, it’s also brought up some fears. I’m in my late 20s and I struggle with anxiety. I’m unable to work right now due to this and I worry that I’ll never get through my anxiety like I want to and never be able to work. But then, this morning, once again, I realized something. I have made 𝓼𝓸 much progress over the years – 𝓼𝓸 much. Sometimes I may forget this and maybe some people don’t realize it, but I’ve come a long way from how I used to be. My anxiety used to be worse and things that were once way more difficult have become simpler due to me practicing my fears on a consistent basis. So yes, while I still may struggle and have a long way to go, I have come far and made a lot of progress. You know what? You can as well.

So if you’ve been feeling down lately because you don’t feel you’ve accomplished enough and/or you’re worried about your future, please try to remember how much progress you 𝓱𝓪𝓿𝓮 and truly 𝓬𝓪𝓷 make. Have faith in yourself and try your hardest. Also, if you ever need to talk, I (as well as many others), are here for you!

Being Proud of Progress (even when you’re not perfect)

As human beings, I think it can be difficult not to be tempted by negative thoughts. It’s hard when we struggle not to beat ourselves up, to put ourselves down for all of our missteps. However, it is important to remember that we are making progress and that even though we’re not perfect, that does not take away from our success.

Let’s take yesterday, for example. I went to church and did extremely well. I usually sit next to a relative and this time, because someone was sitting where my relative usually sits, I couldn’t. Therefore, I sat in my usual seat in back next to someone I’ve never met, and my relative sat in the pew in front of me (a good few away). You may think that doing well during mass while someone that usually sits next to you, instead just sits a little further away, isn’t a big deal, but to me it was. It meant that I could be independent and have enough faith in myself to believe that I could get through mass without becoming anxious – which I did! I didn’t really get anxious at all!

After church, I discovered that my relative and I would be staying after a while to help decorate. Even my relative was unaware of this. We ended up staying after (a whole two hours) and while I did struggle a little, I did pretty well all in all!

Now here’s the thing: I did get very upset with myself when I struggled. I felt miserable and I was mad at myself – mad that I couldn’t stand up to my anxiety and overcome its power. I allowed my anxiety to take control and for that, I was very upset. However, at the same time, I did get – in the end – get through it in that I didn’t let that one moment control the rest of my day. I got through that moment and I continued on with my day. You know what? The rest of the day went well! How awesome is that?!

I understand how difficult it can be not to get fed up with ourselves when we allow our obstacles and struggles to take control. At the same time, though, we can’t forget about the progress we’ve made or the fact that we are able to overcome our obstacles.

So, don’t forget to be proud of your accomplishments! Don’t be too hard on yourself and don’t allow your moments of hardships to convince you that you’re not strong enough to get through whatever tries to hold you back!

More Progress!

Hey everybody!

I have some great news! On Sunday, I made some more progress with getting through my anxiety!

When I go to church, I usually sit in the back against the wall. I’ve gotten used to sitting there and I do extremely well. This last Sunday, however, someone was sitting where I usually sit, meaning that I had to sit somewhere else. While I was nervous at this idea, I felt confident that I would be okay. Still, during the service, I became a bit anxious.

It wasn’t easy sitting in a new spot. It may not seem like a big deal to some, but sitting against the wall where I know I can lean my head if I have to (I haven’t had to in a long time, but just knowing I can is a huge help), was nerve-racking. As many of you who deal with anxiety probably know, when anxiety hits, it can feel as if you’re trapped and while sitting in a different spot, that’s how I started to feel at one point.

When I started focusing on how I was sitting somewhere different, that’s when my anxiety hit. You might be thinking that I should have just stopped thinking about it right away, but that can be way easier said than done. My mind was focused on it and then I started thinking about how there was nowhere to rest my head if I needed to. Panic began to settle in.

However, I got through it. It wasn’t easy, but I did. I started focusing on other things – on my grandparents (who have both passed away, but used to be at church with my mom and I when I was younger), on the necklace I was wearing around my neck that reminded me of my grandpa, on what was being said in church, and on my hair which I was twirling nervously, but that helped me relax. Eventually, I calmed down and I got through mass! It wasn’t easy, but I did it!

While to some, this may not seem like a big accomplishment, I know otherwise. Ever since I’ve started going back to church, I’ve been sitting in the back (other then one time when I sat in the front when my grandpa died – another sign of progress), but this time was different. I did something that I’m not used to – even though I was anxious – and I got through it. Taking small steps towards reaching one’s goal does matter and being able to stay the whole time during mass while being anxious is a big deal!

It felt great that I got through my anxiety on my own. Yes, my mom was sitting right next to me, but I never told her I needed to leave or anything like that. There would have been nothing wrong with that if I did, but I didn’t. I got through it on my own and that hasn’t always been easy for me in the past. Counting on myself to calm down has always been difficult – I tend to obsess on my anxiety, which leads to me feeling the need to leave wherever I am. Even now as I write this, I feel slightly stressed. It’s a scary thing feeling anxious and not knowing if you can get through it. But again, I did and it felt amazing!

To all of you out there who struggle, with hard work on a consistent basis, you can and will get through your anxiety and over any obstacles that come your way. It just takes time, patience, and a lot of effort. Try your hardest to have confidence in yourself – you deserve it!

 

Thinking Back

For those of us who struggle, we may often times find ourselves looking back. We may think about how we once did things with ease and now, those same actions seem difficult. While focusing on the past can have negative ramifications such as causing us to feel depressed or hopeless, there is a way to reflect on the past and use it to our benefit.

For starters, even when looking at what once came easily and may now seem difficult, we can turn the fact that we now struggle into something positive. How? We can realize that since we were once able to do that action with ease, we still can. We just have to work our hardest to accomplish that goal! That may not seem simple, but it is possible.

Additionally, thinking about the past can be a good thing. Many of us (even if it doesn’t always seem obvious) have made progress when it comes to facing our fears, getting through our anxiety, and overcoming our obstacles. Many of us have made tremendous strides in accomplishing our goals. By reflecting on the past, we can see just how far we’ve come. Perhaps we’re not exactly where we want to be, but the fact that we’ve made progress is extremely important.

So next time you find yourself focusing on the past in a negative light, try to remember all of the positive ways you can think about the past. Think about how far you’ve come and how with continued hard work, you can become even more successful!

Doing What You Didn’t Think You Could

We all have fears – whether they’re irrational or not. Something that I’ve always feared is swallowing pills. I’ve always been afraid that I’d choke. Therefore I’ve either taken chewable medication when I was younger, liquid forms, or pills that were crushable. However, recently I had to take something that wasn’t suggested it be crushed. At first I was told that it couldn’t be, but then I was told that it was just that it wasn’t suggested. In the end, I decided to cut the pills in half and swallow them – I was still scared.

I had to take two pills a day for a week. While perhaps some of you may think it got easier, it didn’t always feel that way. I was still nervous I would choke. But you know what? Every day I took those pills and in the end, everything worked out! I never skipped a day and nothing bad ever happened. I did really well and I’m so proud of myself! It just goes to show how important it is to have faith in ourselves and to go out of our comfort zones.

I’m not going to lie – I’m still going to ask if medication can be crushed in the future if I have to take something else. Still, I know now that I’m capable of swallowing pills and I’m confident that if I ever have to do it again, I can. It feels so good to know that! The saying really is true – we’re often much more capable of things than we think. We really need to start having more faith in ourselves.

I’m also proud of myself because, while the last few days for me have been difficult and I’ve had to do a lot of things that made me nervous, I’ve done pretty well. While I did struggle a little, I also got through things that I wasn’t sure I could. We all have the strength inside of ourselves to conquer our fears – we just have to constantly exercise facing them and remind ourselves of our true strength.

I hope that each and every one of you are doing well and please remember how strong you truly are. I know that getting through anxiety and overcoming other obstacles can be extremely difficult, but with time and consistent effort, you can accomplish your goals!

Hurtful Words

The things people say to us can be hurtful – period. We’d all like to be able to just shrug off rude comments, but it’s not always that simple. Especially when mean things are spoken by those who love us, it can be difficult not to let what is said effect us.

Today a close relative said something very, very hurtful to me. Not only did it insult my intelligence, but it reminded me of just how much I struggle with anxiety and how much pain it truly causes me. Also, the words that were spoken by my relative showed their lack of faith in me and the lack of faith they have in the possibility of me being successful – something that is never easy to hear from someone you love.

I’m not going to lie. I started wondering if the words spoken held some merit. Maybe I deserved to be spoken to so unkindly. Maybe I don’t deserve to be believed in. After all, I have suffered from anxiety for a long time and sometimes I even wonder if I’ll ever get through it and be able to overcome my obstacles enough to have a job, etc. It can be hard to know what to believe when there are people around you making you believe that you’re hopeless.

What I need to remember though – what we all need to remember – is that I have made progress. We need to remember that as long as we continue to work hard, that we will continue to make even more progress. It may be hard for us to believe, but we have to have faith in ourselves – no matter if others do or not.

It might be hard sometimes to focus on your accomplishments. Especially in the heat of negativity being thrown your way, it can be hard to dismiss it as untrue. I think we all tend to question whether or not the cruel comments of others are true, especially if they deal with something that bothers us on a regular basis. However, we can’t be tempted to give up on ourselves – we have to show ourselves that we can succeed! We do deserve to be believed in!

Being Proud

If you struggle with anxiety or another mental health issue, you may find yourself constantly doubting your strength and abilities. Let me just tell you, that you are not alone. Just yesterday I was questioning how anyone could find me inspirational as there were a couple of times during the day where I felt quite, well…pathetic.

However, last night, I really realized something. I am strong and capable of getting through my anxiety. Yes, I may need some help along the way, but that doesn’t make me weak.

I had a pretty good day yesterday. I went to church in the morning (which was a bit difficult, but I managed to get through it), I spent time at home with my family, and then I went out to visit a relative in the hospital.

Going to the hospital was the most nerve-wracking part of the day for me. It’s hard for me to go out as it is sometimes, and going to the hospital is always a little stressful, even if you’re not there for yourself.

While I did ask for help when it came to getting around, I was very proud of myself. For one thing, I went to the hospital to visit my relative in the first place. There was a time where I may not have even tried. As horrible as that might sound, anxiety can make it extremely hard to do things – even if they are things you know you should do. Also, while I did get help when it came to walking into and out of the hospital, I did relatively well while visiting my relative and didn’t struggle as much as I usually might while going out.

I know how difficult it can be to be proud of ourselves. Whenever we struggle, it can seem like a constant reminder of our issues having the ability to take control. What we have to remember, though, is that while we may face many challenges, we also experience many victories – that is what we must focus on.

Yesterday, I did many great things. I went to church and stayed the entire time, I had a great time celebrating Christmas at home with no anxiety, and I went to the hospital to visit my relative; not asking to leave before my family was ready. The fact that I may have struggled a little here and there is not what’s important, but that I did an overall good job and got through my anxiety, is what matters.

Next time you accomplish your goals, remember to be proud of yourself! Don’t spend too much energy focusing on the negative when you could be focusing on the positive!

I hope you all had a great holiday!

-B.

Stop Beating Yourself Up!

Stop beating yourself up! Easily said, easily done, right? Not so much. I’m always trying to explain that just because one may struggle with something or not get something done at the same pace as someone else, that it doesn’t make them pathetic or a failure. I believe this, I really do, but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t times when I don’t find myself thinking how pathetic I must be to struggle the way I do.

I’m not proud of this – but these are the facts. I don’t have a job right now, I still live at home with my family, and anxiety still effects me a great deal. I hate struggling with anxiety, I truly do, but that’s how it is right now. I try hard on a daily basis to get better and I hope that one day, anxiety will no longer hold me back from accomplishing all that I want to do.

Society tells us that if we don’t all do things at the same time, then we must be pathetic or that something must be wrong with us. THIS IS NOT TRUE! This should not be used an excuse not to try our hardest to overcome our obstacles, but we should not think ourselves pathetic or abnormal for not always meeting society’s standards. We all deal with different things and we all accomplish our goals at different times. What’s important is that we always try our hardest to get through whatever it is that’s holding us back and that we NEVER GIVE UP!

As I was lying down this morning, feeling pathetic, I realized something. I want to work, I want to be more independent, I want to get through my anxiety. The reason for me not having a job is not out of laziness or not wanting to do something more with my life, but because my anxiety is so severe. Also, it’s not as if I’m not trying to get better. I’m trying every single day! Also, I’ve made progress and I’m not useless – none of us are! I am a freelance writer for a great website, I’ve written and published two books and am currently working on my third, and I’ve made and am continuing to make progress when it comes to getting through my anxiety. All of these things are important! All of these things matter!

So remember, it doesn’t necessarily matter if you’re meeting society’s standards and expectations. What matters is that you’re trying your hardest to overcome your obstacles. No one but you knows exactly what you’re struggling with, no one but you can make your life all it can be. If you’re trying your hardest to get through what’s holding you back and if you refuse to give up on your goals, that’s what’s important!