Hurtful Words

The things people say to us can be hurtful – period. We’d all like to be able to just shrug off rude comments, but it’s not always that simple. Especially when mean things are spoken by those who love us, it can be difficult not to let what is said effect us.

Today a close relative said something very, very hurtful to me. Not only did it insult my intelligence, but it reminded me of just how much I struggle with anxiety and how much pain it truly causes me. Also, the words that were spoken by my relative showed their lack of faith in me and the lack of faith they have in the possibility of me being successful – something that is never easy to hear from someone you love.

I’m not going to lie. I started wondering if the words spoken held some merit. Maybe I deserved to be spoken to so unkindly. Maybe I don’t deserve to be believed in. After all, I have suffered from anxiety for a long time and sometimes I even wonder if I’ll ever get through it and be able to overcome my obstacles enough to have a job, etc. It can be hard to know what to believe when there are people around you making you believe that you’re hopeless.

What I need to remember though – what we all need to remember – is that I have made progress. We need to remember that as long as we continue to work hard, that we will continue to make even more progress. It may be hard for us to believe, but we have to have faith in ourselves – no matter if others do or not.

It might be hard sometimes to focus on your accomplishments. Especially in the heat of negativity being thrown your way, it can be hard to dismiss it as untrue. I think we all tend to question whether or not the cruel comments of others are true, especially if they deal with something that bothers us on a regular basis. However, we can’t be tempted to give up on ourselves – we have to show ourselves that we can succeed! We do deserve to be believed in!

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Being Proud

If you struggle with anxiety or another mental health issue, you may find yourself constantly doubting your strength and abilities. Let me just tell you, that you are not alone. Just yesterday I was questioning how anyone could find me inspirational as there were a couple of times during the day where I felt quite, well…pathetic.

However, last night, I really realized something. I am strong and capable of getting through my anxiety. Yes, I may need some help along the way, but that doesn’t make me weak.

I had a pretty good day yesterday. I went to church in the morning (which was a bit difficult, but I managed to get through it), I spent time at home with my family, and then I went out to visit a relative in the hospital.

Going to the hospital was the most nerve-wracking part of the day for me. It’s hard for me to go out as it is sometimes, and going to the hospital is always a little stressful, even if you’re not there for yourself.

While I did ask for help when it came to getting around, I was very proud of myself. For one thing, I went to the hospital to visit my relative in the first place. There was a time where I may not have even tried. As horrible as that might sound, anxiety can make it extremely hard to do things – even if they are things you know you should do. Also, while I did get help when it came to walking into and out of the hospital, I did relatively well while visiting my relative and didn’t struggle as much as I usually might while going out.

I know how difficult it can be to be proud of ourselves. Whenever we struggle, it can seem like a constant reminder of our issues having the ability to take control. What we have to remember, though, is that while we may face many challenges, we also experience many victories – that is what we must focus on.

Yesterday, I did many great things. I went to church and stayed the entire time, I had a great time celebrating Christmas at home with no anxiety, and I went to the hospital to visit my relative; not asking to leave before my family was ready. The fact that I may have struggled a little here and there is not what’s important, but that I did an overall good job and got through my anxiety, is what matters.

Next time you accomplish your goals, remember to be proud of yourself! Don’t spend too much energy focusing on the negative when you could be focusing on the positive!

I hope you all had a great holiday!

-B.

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Stop Beating Yourself Up!

Stop beating yourself up! Easily said, easily done, right? Not so much. I’m always trying to explain that just because one may struggle with something or not get something done at the same pace as someone else, that it doesn’t make them pathetic or a failure. I believe this, I really do, but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t times when I don’t find myself thinking how pathetic I must be to struggle the way I do.

I’m not proud of this – but these are the facts. I don’t have a job right now, I still live at home with my family, and anxiety still effects me a great deal. I hate struggling with anxiety, I truly do, but that’s how it is right now. I try hard on a daily basis to get better and I hope that one day, anxiety will no longer hold me back from accomplishing all that I want to do.

Society tells us that if we don’t all do things at the same time, then we must be pathetic or that something must be wrong with us. THIS IS NOT TRUE! This should not be used an excuse not to try our hardest to overcome our obstacles, but we should not think ourselves pathetic or abnormal for not always meeting society’s standards. We all deal with different things and we all accomplish our goals at different times. What’s important is that we always try our hardest to get through whatever it is that’s holding us back and that we NEVER GIVE UP!

As I was lying down this morning, feeling pathetic, I realized something. I want to work, I want to be more independent, I want to get through my anxiety. The reason for me not having a job is not out of laziness or not wanting to do something more with my life, but because my anxiety is so severe. Also, it’s not as if I’m not trying to get better. I’m trying every single day! Also, I’ve made progress and I’m not useless – none of us are! I am a freelance writer for a great website, I’ve written and published two books and am currently working on my third, and I’ve made and am continuing to make progress when it comes to getting through my anxiety. All of these things are important! All of these things matter!

So remember, it doesn’t necessarily matter if you’re meeting society’s standards and expectations. What matters is that you’re trying your hardest to overcome your obstacles. No one but you knows exactly what you’re struggling with, no one but you can make your life all it can be. If you’re trying your hardest to get through what’s holding you back and if you refuse to give up on your goals, that’s what’s important!

 

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Progress Is Progress – Don’t Let Anyone Tell You Otherwise!

Maybe every time you’ve ever shared your progress with someone else, they’ve commended you. Maybe you’ve never had someone question how the progress you’ve made can really be labeled as such. I think that’s great. However, I know that I, for one, have experienced otherwise.

Don’t get me wrong, many times when I share my progress with someone, they are proud of me and express those feelings of pride. They understand that if I’m doing something that I previously struggled with – no matter what it is – that it matters. Even if the step towards success may seem small, they see that it’s important.

On the opposite end, I’ve had people question my progress. I’ve mentioned that I did something that I usually back away from and instead of hearing their praise or that they think I did well, they just ask how it’s a big deal; how it qualifies as progress. I’m not going to lie – it hurts. I’m not saying that I constantly need recognition, but the last thing a person wants when they share their accomplishments with you, is to feel belittled or shut down. Any of us who have ever struggled with anything, know how difficult it can be to overcome our obstacles. We also know how good and refreshing it feels when it’s clear that they we stronger than what is holding us back. We want to be built up by ourselves and the ones we love, not torn down.

If you’ve experienced what I have – that some people aren’t understanding or kind when it comes to our struggles and hearing about our progress – then here is my advice. I recommend trying to save sharing your progress for the people who will actually appreciate and respect it. I know it’s hard not to want to shout your progress from the rooftop, but sometimes lending your happiness to others is a risky concept. Not everyone will be supportive and instead of showing you the respect you deserve, some will simply share harsh or careless words.

Again, and this is important to remember, there are people who will support, respect, and care for you. There are people who will go out of their way to cheer you on and to make you feel as special as you truly are. These are the people you want to allow into your lives and share both your good and bad times with. Don’t allow others to take away your sense of pride and accomplishment. No one can take away your progress, no one!

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The Importance of Sharing Your Experiences

A friend of mine mentioned how I haven’t posted about my anxiety on here in a while. This is very true and I think the reason for this is because, honestly, not much has changed. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve made some improvements and these improvements are far from unimportant, it just doesn’t seem like I’ve made tons of progress in terms of getting through my anxiety.

Maybe another reason I haven’t posted about my anxiety much lately is because it’s a little embarrassing to me that I’m still struggling so much. I’m so happy for how far I’ve come and I know that I’ve made a lot of progress since the very beginning of my struggle with anxiety, but I still feel like I have a long way to go.

I hate going through this – I hate not doing the things I love because my anxiety makes me feel weaker than I actually am. Anxiety isn’t always the easiest thing to shake off and it has a way of trying to convince you of things that are far from the truth.

I guess I’ve felt like I haven’t had much to say about my anxiety as of late. It’s not as if I’ve made an unbelievable amount of progress or that it’s as if I’ve forgotten what it’s like to be so anxious. No, I still know what that feeling is like and I still experience it quite a bit.

The truth is though, that I have made progress and that every bit of progress is important. I’ve gotten outside more, I’ve been doing better inside the house, and I even published two books! These are amazing accomplishments! I’ve always felt that any positive accomplishment is worth celebrating and that every individual who has been through something has something valuable to share. Who am I to doubt the importance of my words or the words of anyone else?

Don’t doubt that you have something important to say. Don’t doubt that you can help others. Just because you’re struggling does not mean you haven’t made progress!

I hope that everyone’s doing well.

*Special thanks to the friend who reminded me why I started this blog.

 

 

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More Literary Fun On Rest in Piece Book Blog!

Hey everyone! I thought I would just remind you that in addition to this blog, I also have created a blog dedicated to my book, Rest in Piece! The Rest in Piece Book Blog includes information about my newly published book, information about me as an author, fun book parties including questions and polls, literary advice, and much, much more!

While this blog (Getting Through Anxiety) is mostly serious in content, the Rest in Piece book blog is more along the lines of both informational and fun. As mentioned, the blog is all about my newly published book and the writing process. If you’d like to take a look, please feel free to do so. This week I’ve been celebrating the publication of my book with my second book party – which includes lots of fun polls! There is one more poll tomorrow, but you can always participate in the past polls as well!

Thanks as always for reading and thanks to everyone who has already checked out the Rest in Piece book blog!

-B.W. Ginsburg

A.K.A. B.G.

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Grains of Sand – October ’16

Happy first day of November, everyone! I hope you all had a good and safe Halloween and last day of October! Here are my Grains of Sand for last month! Grains of Sand is a great way to track your progress and was originally thought up by Sandy over at Sandycademy.

-Finished reading Cradle and All by James Patterson
• This was a great book and I really enjoyed reading it! You can read my review here!
-Had one thousand shares on my post on The Mighty!
• Special thanks to The Mighty for publishing this and to everyone who read it and/or shared it as well!
-Reached 1,000 posts on my blog
• Thank you SO much to everyone who reads, comments on, likes, and follows my blog! Thank you to everyone who supports me through my journey to get through anxiety. Also, I want to thank each and every one of you for writing your own blogs. Some of my posts are re-blogs and obviously those wouldn’t exist without you! Additionally, so many of you have created wonderful blogs and posts that have helped others. Thank you.
-Created my new blog, Rest in Piece for my story!
• It felt great to start this new project. If you’d like, you can check out the link to the blog here
-Published my book for the first time ever!!!
• I’ve always wanted to be a published author! This is a dream come true. To check out my book and how to purchase, click here!

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