Hey guys! I hope you’re all doing well. I thought I would update you as to how things have been going.
For starters, just last weekend, I went to a restaurant I’d never been to and hung out with my mom and her two friends. I had met her friends before, but never spent much time with them. I had a great time and even fell in love with a new food – Crabmeat Rangoons! Anyway, in terms of my anxiety, I did really well!
Yesterday, I went out again. After heading out to my mom’s (where I did well, as usual), I went out to see her best friend. I’ve known this individual for many years and while she can be nice at times, she can be very cruel and can say some very hurtful things.
While this friend of my mom deals with anxiety, she isn’t always the most understanding when it comes to mine. This is frustrating both because I find it simply rude and hypocritical. How someone who suffers with anxiety themselves can treat someone else with anxiety so horribly is beyond me.
I will tell you all something that while I’m not proud of, is important to share for this story. Sometimes due to my anxiety, I hold on to someone I trust’s arm when walking. Upon seeing this, my mom’s friend said “That’s enough of this,” and tore my hand off of my mom’s arm, making me feel unsteady and anxious. Her friend went further to say that I could “hold on to her” and made me do that instead.
I was extremely upset that my mom’s friend made the comment about me holding onto my mom ‘being enough’. It’s already hard enough seeing myself struggle, let alone having someone say cruel things and literally rip me away from feeling comfortable.
After that incident, my mom and I went out to a store. My mom told her friend that we would both be back. Going into the store, I did well, but upon leaving, I began to become anxious. Upon having to sit down (unfortunately on the floor), I noticed a few people staring at me.
I understand why people do this, I do. I know it’s not normal for someone to simply sit on the floor. I hate that I go through this. I understand one’s curiosity in seeing someone sitting down in a strange spot. Still, I wish that people would be more supportive and less judgmental. Also, I think if someone thinks that something might be wrong, or that someone might be going through something, that they should maybe check if the person is alright, instead of blatantly staring at the individual. We’re not stupid, we see you staring, and it only makes things worse for us.
To continue, while I was trying to get my courage back up so that I could head to the car with my mom, I saw a literal sign in the store. My eyes were drawn right to it and I truly believe that I was meant to see it. Maybe that sounds strange to some, but it’s what I believe.
I know some of you may not be religious and that’s fine, but I thought I would share the quote on the sign. I hope it inspires you like it did me.
“Good things happen when you believe in God, who always believes in you.”
Also, here’s something else that is important to remember when you’re struggling. You have made progress before and just because you may be having a difficult time at the moment, does not mean that you’re not stronger than your obstacles or that you’re not improving. We all have days that are better than others and none of us are perfect. It’s okay if we struggle sometimes, it doesn’t make us any less successful.
I wish you all the best. Please remember that you are strong and that it doesn’t matter what others say. As long as you are working hard on a consistent basis to reach a positive goal, that’s all that matters.