Seeking Approval

Hi everybody! So, I know that I’ve touched on this subject before, but I’d like to talk about how many of us spend our time seeking the approval of others.

There is one person in particular who I’ve noticed I’m constantly trying to ‘impress’ – my mom. Unfortunately, she isn’t someone who really understands my struggle with anxiety as much as I would hope, which, in turn, makes me feel the need to show her that I am, in fact, making progress. The thing is, however, that I shouldn’t have to point it out to her and doing so, makes me feel kind of pathetic.

Don’t get me wrong – my mom has started noticing on her own that I’m doing better in some cases. This makes me extremely happy and proud of myself. Still, I find myself asking, “Did I do well?” and when I hear myself ask this, I find myself becoming a bit disappointed in myself. Why? Because it shouldn’t matter what my mom or anyone else says or thinks. As long as I’m making progress and recognize this fact, that’s all that should matter.

Therefore, I’ve decided something – not to ask the question of whether or not someone thinks I’ve done well at something. If someone wants to express how well I did themselves, that’s great – if not, that’s okay too. I’m going to depend on myself to judge my progress.

I think that by allowing myself to decide when I’ve done well, I’m giving myself more confidence – I’m not waiting for someone else to give me praise or determine how successful I’ve been. In my opinion, allowing others to judge us just adds unnecessary anxiety. So please don’t wait for others to say that you’re doing a good job, pat yourself on the back when you do well!

 

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