Hurtful Words

The things people say to us can be hurtful – period. We’d all like to be able to just shrug off rude comments, but it’s not always that simple. Especially when mean things are spoken by those who love us, it can be difficult not to let what is said effect us.

Today a close relative said something very, very hurtful to me. Not only did it insult my intelligence, but it reminded me of just how much I struggle with anxiety and how much pain it truly causes me. Also, the words that were spoken by my relative showed their lack of faith in me and the lack of faith they have in the possibility of me being successful – something that is never easy to hear from someone you love.

I’m not going to lie. I started wondering if the words spoken held some merit. Maybe I deserved to be spoken to so unkindly. Maybe I don’t deserve to be believed in. After all, I have suffered from anxiety for a long time and sometimes I even wonder if I’ll ever get through it and be able to overcome my obstacles enough to have a job, etc. It can be hard to know what to believe when there are people around you making you believe that you’re hopeless.

What I need to remember though – what we all need to remember – is that I have made progress. We need to remember that as long as we continue to work hard, that we will continue to make even more progress. It may be hard for us to believe, but we have to have faith in ourselves – no matter if others do or not.

It might be hard sometimes to focus on your accomplishments. Especially in the heat of negativity being thrown your way, it can be hard to dismiss it as untrue. I think we all tend to question whether or not the cruel comments of others are true, especially if they deal with something that bothers us on a regular basis. However, we can’t be tempted to give up on ourselves – we have to show ourselves that we can succeed! We do deserve to be believed in!

16 Replies to “Hurtful Words”

  1. I think we also need to focus less on what other people think. This is advice I struggle with myself, so maybe I shouldn’t offer it.

    I know that no one knows our struggles, our strength, or our abilities. Sometimes we don’t even know them ourselves until we’re put to the test.

    It’s hard to fight that voice in our head that keeps repeating the questions, criticisms, & doubts. Still, in the end, we’re the ones who hold ourselves up. If others choose not to support us, it hurts so badly, but it doesn’t mean they’re right.

    1. Ariel, you should totally offer that advice! Just because you struggle with something doesn’t mean that you don’t have something important to say!

      You’re absolutely correct! Just because others may think negatively about us or say negative things, does not mean that they are right.

      1. Well, thank you for saying that. I don’t like to be hypocritical, but I’m trying my hardest to ignore negative comments – even (& especially) from those I love. They can be our toughest critics.

        Most of the time (I hope), they mean well. But, too often, they try to keep us from getting hurt or failing, when those are the ways we learn & grow.

      2. I don’t think you’re being hypocritical at all. I think it’s important to try to ignore negativity, but that doesn’t mean that it’s easy or that I’m always successful at it. It can be a very hard thing to do!

        I agree. Sometimes I think people are negative because they care for someone and it comes out sounding otherwise. However, sometimes I think that some people are simply negative and find it hard to have faith in others, etc.

      3. Well, I do hope to apply the advice to my own life. However, sometimes I struggle so much with the negativity put on me by my family that it takes over all that I do. So, I don’t want to give advice that it seems like I’m not following myself.

        It’s really hard having to deal with negative people. It seems 10x as hard when the negative person is someone whom you love, especially a parent. My Dad is the same way. It’s like nothing we do is good enough, nor can we do what’s “right” according to them.

        I think we have to gauge whether or not they’re critical of us, if their criticism makes sense (after the sting fades away), if they’re negative about all issues/small issues/every issue, & if they’re happy in their own lives/with their own accomplishments. If they’re overly negative, towards us specifically or towards life in general, then we have to take what they say with a grain of salt.

        You’re 100% right – some people are just unhappy & negative all the time.

      4. Thank you for such a thoughtful, in depth response! I’m sorry that you struggle with the negative words of others as well. I agree, it does seem harder to deal with hurtful words when they come from the ones we love. I also agree that, while difficult, we have to try to analyze why specific individuals are so negative. Thank you again for commenting!

      5. You’re most welcome. You don’t have to thank me for commenting! Your posts are so deep & thought-provoking, I simply can’t keep quiet!

        OK, so, I can’t ever keep quiet, but what I said about your posts is true nonetheless. 😀

  2. Negative comments always get to me 😦 I’ve learned to try and focus only on the positive things 🙂

  3. I’m sorry that hurtful words were spoken. But, as always, you turned that despair and hurt into something positive. That, my friend, is a sign of maturity! You are awesome!!

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