I’m not trying to be melodramatic, but sometimes my anxiety makes me feel pathetic. The fact that my anxiety sometimes tries to convince me that I struggle to do basic things like walk from one point to another with ease, can really make me feel like I dislike myself.
Don’t get me wrong, I actually like my personality and who I am for the most part. What I don’t like? The fact that my anxiety controls my life in countless ways. I hate how when I go out with the people I love, they have to help me so much that I feel like I’m a burden.
Let me put that a different way. I know that I’m not a burden. My anxiety, however, is. Anxiety is both a hindrance to myself and those around me. I hate the fact that I need so much help from the ones I love and that I struggle with things that were once easy.
I am grateful though. I’m grateful for the fact that, in reality, I can do all of these things. While anxiety may try to convince my body that I struggle with simple tasks, the fact of the matter is that I’m perfectly capable of doing every day things – I just need to realize that.
Back to what I was saying though. My anxiety can make me feel utterly pathetic. I feel awful putting my family and friends through this and I hate seeing myself struggle so much. Today when I went out somewhere, I struggled a great deal when we were about to leave. I just kept thinking how sometimes…I really feel like I hate myself.
I know that’s an awful thing to think, but sometimes, that’s what anxiety does to you. It makes you feel like you’re this awful person who fails at everything. The truth is though, that I’m not awful and I’m not a failure. Neither are you! We all struggle and while some of us may struggle more than others, that doesn’t make us failures. Also, the difficult moments that we experience don’t take away from the good ones. We cannot allow ourselves to forget all of the progress that we’ve made.
So if you ever find yourself feeling weighed down by anxiety and feeling like you don’t like who you are because of what you go through, remember that anxiety does not make you a bad person. Remember that there are others out there just like you who struggle. You are amazing and just because you have moments where things are extra hard, that doesn’t mean that you haven’t taken steps towards improving yourself! We are not failures, we’re hardworking individuals who try our hardest to get through our anxiety!