I’ve always been thin – always. When I was younger, I constantly got reminded by my doctor that I was underweight and a couple of times in school, I was mocked for it. However, I’ve never had an eating disorder or been so thin that it caused me health problems. I’m very grateful for this.
When it came to being thin, it only really bothered me because I knew that I should weigh more. The teasing didn’t really bug me that much and I wasn’t always obsessing about being skinny (although there were definitely times I wished I weighed more).
I’m very happy to say that I’ve gained a good amount of weight since then and now weigh about what I believe I should. You’d think I’d be all fine and good then, but I’m not. Whether it’s because of the medication I take, the fact that I don’t exercise a lot, or because I like to eat greasy foods, I have a bit of a pudge and I’ll admit, I’m embarrassed.
I’ve never really felt ’embarrassed’ about my weight – at least not like this.. This morning I put on my shirt and felt like I looked almost pregnant! Hell, my favorite leather jacket feels a little tight on me!
I almost feel like I shouldn’t complain or that I have no right to. After all, I’ve never had to worry before about being overweight and I’ve always wanted to weigh about what I do now. So why am I so upset? I never thought I’d be standing here feeling so insecure about my body – about my stomach looking ‘pudgy’!
My point of this post is that it’s okay for you to feel insecure about your body – you have that right. I’m not saying you necessarily should feel insecure, but you are allowed. Also, no one has the perfect body – it’s not possible.