Hardships and Consistency

I’ve been struggling the last few days, especially last night. Between feeling like a burden to those around me and struggling to do simple things, I’ve been feeling pretty crappy.

I know I always talk about staying positive and remembering how amazing we all are. While I mean every single word of that, it’s not always easy to follow through with. It’s not always easy to put a positive spin on everything or to magically just snap our fingers and stop feeling depressed and sorry for ourselves.

Last night I was going through a lot. A family member said a mean comment and it just made me realize how many people I’ve disappointed with my anxiety and other issues. It made me remember all of the times when people have said cruel things to me or made it like I was this impossible individual to deal with. That feeling sucks. It sucks to know how many people you have let down and to feel like you’re a burden to everyone. My other family member assured me that I’m not a burden, but let’s face it, sometimes it’s hard to shake the feelings of inadequacy and sadness.

I have to admit, I still don’t feel great about myself. I still feel like I let a lot of people down and drive a lot of people crazy with my anxiety and other issues. Don’t get me wrong, I know that I’m loved and cared for. I just sometimes feel like I’m not really liked – like I frustrate everyone around me. It’s hard to feel otherwise when some people have actually come out and said how frustrating I am.

I’m not writing this post though to whine (although it does help to get things off my chest). I’m writing this post to show you that it’s okay to sometimes feel down, to sometimes struggle with putting a positive spin on everything. It doesn’t make you a bad person to struggle. Usually I realize quickly that I’m not a burden, but this time it seems harder to shake off the feeling that I am.

My family member who was trying to help me brought up a good point though that I think is very important to share. While it didn’t help me feel 100% better, I know that he has a point. Many people say mean things to us because they don’t understand what we go through. It doesn’t make it okay, but it’s true. Just because people get frustrated with me due to my anxiety, does not mean that they don’t love me or that they hate me as a person – it just means that my anxiety is frustrating or that when I go through it, I’m frustrating at that moment.

I’m not saying that this makes it all better. I’m not saying that it’s okay for others to be cruel, it’s not. What I am saying though is that we are not burdens. It may be hard for us to believe at times, but it’s true. We’re loved, sometimes we’re just not understood. Our family and friends love us though and they care about that. Please don’t ever forget that.

Another thing I want to talk about is consistency. I know that I talk about this subject all the time, but it’s important. As I mentioned, I’ve been struggling lately. There’s little doubt in my mind that the cause for this is that I haven’t been exercising and practicing facing my fears as much as I should be lately. Just like staying positive, while I  consider consistency incredibly important to practice, it’s not always easy to follow through on. Even though the most important thing to me in terms of my health is to get through anxiety, I still struggle with practicing and exercising on a consistent basis.

Sometimes I wonder why it’s so hard to do something that I know is so important. I want to get through my anxiety more than anything, so why don’t I do what I know is necessary? Honestly, I think it’s because other things get in the way. They shouldn’t, but they do. Let’s face it, as human beings, sometimes we just don’t feel like doing things – sometimes we get lazy. Other times as important as things are to us, we just forget about them. You wouldn’t think this is possible, but it is. Other times I think my anxiety stops me from facing my fears. Sometimes I feel too anxious to do stretches or other exercises. Whatever the reason, I need to stop becoming complacent. I need (and we all need) to exercise and practice facing our fears on a consistent basis. We need to figure out a way to hold ourselves accountable. Remember, it’s worth the time and effort to get better. We are worth the time and effort.

 

If anyone has any tips on how to practice facing ones fears and exercising on a consistent basis, please feel free to comment!

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9 thoughts on “Hardships and Consistency

  1. I’m sorry people are being insensitive (even if they don’t mean to be). Like you said, there is no excuse to be cruel, but I know sometimes I get frustrated, not because my husband is a burden, but because I can’t help him. I can’t truly understand what he’s going through, because I don’t have the health problems he does. He vents to me, and I listen, but I feel so helpless. I love him so much and I want to make it better, and I can’t. That infuriates me. He feels bad because I feel this way, and then I feel guilty for saying anything…it’s a constant battle! I also get super stressed, because I do understand that he’s limited in what he can do to help me with household chores, but because of that sometimes things get backed up because I don’t feel good, or I’m already super stressed at work and having a house full of things that need done just adds to the stress. It’s nobody’s fault, but neither one of us can help the way we feel. Sometimes people just don’t know how to react to their emotions, and sometimes they lash out, but they don’t really mean to be mean. I hope you start feeling better soon! I’m thinking about you!

  2. Idontwearahat. says:

    I can relate. My partner can get very frustrated with me. But what I hadn’t realised until I read this is that it’s the anxiety he’s frustrated with. I also realise reading this I’m not a positive person. I try to do all of the right things to help myself but I’m not particularly positive, which I don’t imagine helps! Thanks for this.

  3. I’m sorry that your family member said mean things to you. I know how that feels, & it’s awful. 😦

    The only tip I have for exercising regularly probably won’t work for most people. My Dad & I belong to the same gym & we go together. When I don’t go, he’s not mad, but his disappointment makes me feel disappointed too. It also gives me someone to chat with on the way there & back (we go our separate ways once we get there).

    Another tip would be to schedule days. The problem I’ve found is getting to the gym – once I’m there, I am really gung-ho about doing my workout. So, I would say that getting started would be the hardest step. Having scheduled exercise days helps because you know when it’s coming. Then, on the scheduled day, you pick a time & stick to it. Otherwise, if you’re anything like me, you’ll procrastinate until bedtime!

    This reminds me that I need to start doing some “at home” exercises. I need to strengthen my lower back/core & what I’m doing at the gym isn’t helping with that.

    Another idea, if it doesn’t make you too anxious, is to check out the YMCA or YWCA & see if they have any low-cost/free exercise classes. I know a lot of them have yoga, which I find very helpful for my depression/mild anxiety.

    Sticking with anything – whether it’s exercise or facing your fears or organizing your home – isn’t a perfect practice. Even if you’re good at consistency, you’ll have slip-ups. We all backslide. We all have days where we feel like we’d like to have a root canal over exercising.

    & that’s OK. Skipping one day doesn’t make you a failure. It’s how you react to it & what you do the next day that matters. ❤ 🙂

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