Something that many anxiety sufferers are probably familiar with, are the many waves of anxiety. One moment you can be doing really well and noting all the progress you’ve made and then in another, you feel as if you’re struggling more than ever. This feeling is not fun and more than that, it’s frustrating. Don’t get me wrong, I’m always grateful for those moments and days when I’m doing well, but I always hate when things come falling – or crashing, down.
Take yesterday, for example. I got outside quite a few times, pedaled about 4 miles worth, did some sit ups, and did some other stretching. However, during that same day, I struggled with other things that I wish I would have done better at. Also, so far today, things are a little rough and I’m feeling kind of lousy.
I know that I’m not a failure and I know that I’ve made a lot of progress. I’m proud of myself. Still, it doesn’t feel good to struggle – to have a hard time doing things that are simple for so many people. These things were once simple for me too and now, due to my anxiety and over-thinking, so many things are way more difficult than they should be.
Something else that’s really frustrating is the fact that sometimes I try so hard and yet it doesn’t seem to amount to much. Yes, yesterday I went outside a lot and exercised, but what about today? I don’t feel like the progress I made yesterday carried over like it should have. I think that’s a huge problem for me. I make progress but it’s like my mind wont accept it and learn from it. I would love to be able to think, “I made tons of progress yesterday and that shows me that I don’t have to worry about these things. I’m capable of getting through my anxiety and getting things done without trouble!” and be able to actually believe it. While I think on one hand, I believe that I’m able to do these things without anything bad happening, I know that there’s still a huge part of me that believes otherwise.
As many of you know, struggling with anxiety is not easy – it’s a constant battle. Many times trying our best or at all might seem pointless, may seem futile. However, the truth is that we have to try our hardest and that it is worth it! No matter how difficult it is to fight the war against anxiety, we must not give up! We can get through this, we just have to refuse to surrender!
I wish you all the best in getting over your fears and through your anxiety. Please know that you have my support.