Today I’d like to talk about something that means a great deal to me.
When I was younger and didn’t deal with anxiety as much, I loved going places. I loved shopping, going to birthday parties, and really…just getting out of the house. However, now that my anxiety is much worse and harder to cope with, it’s difficult for me to get out. Do I miss it? Absolutely! Do I wish that I could just go wherever I want and have a good time without worrying? 100% yes!
However, as many of you who suffer with anxiety know, it’s not always that easy. As much as we may want to do something, sometimes our anxiety holds us back. In fact, sometimes it’s difficult for us to even picture going somewhere without feeling anxious.
Unfortunately, I don’t think that people always understand this. I have relatives that seriously believe that if I wanted to do things badly enough, I just would. I’m sorry to say that that’s not the case. When my mom or someone else invites me to go somewhere, I want so much to say “Yes! When are we going?”. Usually though, I don’t. Usually I say that I’m sorry that I can’t and that I wish I could.
It’s admittedly hard to feel as though people don’t believe you – especially your loved ones. I don’t want my family and friends to think that I don’t miss doing things with them or that I don’t wish I could. The truth is though that I know I’m not ready to go somewhere and walk around for an extended period of time. I also know that some of the people I’d be going with are not understanding and that if I had to leave, they would get frustrated. I’m not trying to blame others, I’m just stating the facts.
I’m writing this to let those who struggle with doing the things that they want due to anxiety, that I understand and that you’re not alone. I’m also writing this to remind those who have loved ones who struggle with anxiety and other mental health issues, that we don’t like going through this. We would much rather be going somewhere exciting or doing something fun!