Try Not To Let It Get You Down

Today I had a psychiatrist appointment. During the appointment, I was asked if I had a job or boyfriend. The answer to both was no. Would I like to get a job and work? Absolutely! Would I like to meet some nice guy and maybe one day get married? Of course! However, due to my anxiety I don’t feel like I’d be able to work yet and I don’t get out a lot to meet a lot of people.

My psychiatrist wants me to take more medication, he’s wanted this for a long time. I am taking more than I was the last time I saw him, but he still wants me on an even higher dosage. While I want to get better in getting through my anxiety, I also don’t want to be on a lot of medicine. It’s just how I feel.

I know my psychiatrist means well, but he often times makes me feel pressured and guilty for not taking as much medication as he wants me to. He said how the longer I wait to work, the harder it will be for me to get a job and how if I want to have a boyfriend and get married, I have to get through my anxiety. I know this. I want to get better, get a job that I love, and have a relationship with someone special. Still, I don’t think that these things should be used to make me feel guilty for not taking more medication. I just don’t feel that it’s right.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand where my psychiatrist (and therapist) is coming from. He feels that if I take more medication, my anxiety will be easier to control and I’ll be able to accomplish more. However, I still want to be able to accomplish my goals and manage my anxiety without taking tons of medication. Is that so wrong?

Also, when I go in for my appointment and I hear things like, “If you want to stay this way, then you can keep taking a low dose of medication…” it hurts my feelings and I find it frustrating! Just because I don’t want to be on a high dosage of medicine, doesn’t mean that I don’t want to get better! Also, maybe my psychiatrist doesn’t consider a certain dosage high, but maybe I do. Doesn’t that matter?

My point is that while you should listen to your doctors, you should also make sure that you don’t allow them to make you feel too down about yourself. I know sometimes it can seem like they’re trying to make you feel guilty or putting a lot of pressure on you, but sometimes it’s just the way they say things. Also, while you have to work hard  and while you should listen to what is being said, don’t allow negative comments to make you feel hopeless. If you work hard on a consistent basis, you will get through your anxiety and succeed!

*This post is not meant to say that you shouldn’t listen to your doctors, psychiatrists, therapists, etc. Instead it is meant to say that you should not allow rude comments or other things that are said that may rub you the wrong way, bring you down.


25 Replies to “Try Not To Let It Get You Down”

  1. You’re definitely entitled to be heard by your doc. In fact, you’re the only one entitled to be heard. He can make suggestions but ultimately it is your health. Honestly, too much medicine may be a bad thing. Medicine is a short term solution to a long term problem, in my opinion. I don’t say that people shouldn’t take it but I don’t believe it should become a crutch unless absolutely necessary.

    I don’t know your doc, obviously, but I’d be curious to find out if he ever tries to offer practical solutions to dealing with anxiety rather than meds.

    1. Thanks for reading and commenting!

      I do see a therapist who believes in other methods in addition to medication and I believe that those are the best (CBT, exposure therapy, etc.). My therapist also believes in taking medication though, which I am fine with. I just think that my psychiatrist sometimes has a way of trying to make me feel guilty for not taking more medication and I really don’t like that!

      1. Ha, it can be tempting. It’s one thing to say something like, “I feel like if you take more medication, you’ll start to feel better and you’ll life to will improve”, and another to make it like more medication is my only hope!

  2. I read the part about “if you want a boyfriend” and I just about flipped. He makes it sound like no good guy would be willing to deal with a girlfriend who has anxiety! True, this type of guy is a rare gem, but dudes that can handle mental illness and mood swings frickin’ exist. Don’t let this psychiatrist make it seem like boys like that are mythological creatures.

    I totally understand how you feel about work. It’s not that you don’t want to work, but it’s a terrifying concept to be at the mercy of customers, especially when human beings are so nasty to workers. I pray that God can give you guidance on this matter. Sending sweet thoughts, hun!

    1. Thank you SO much for reading and for caring! I know what you mean, I felt like my psychiatrist was saying that no men would be willing to be in a relationship with someone who struggles, which I don’t think is true at all!

      Also, I agree with you! I want a job, but my anxiety is so overwhelming at times, that I don’t feel ready yet. I hate that my psychiatrist makes my situation seem helpless without more medication!

      1. Well, what you can do is try it his way, and if it doesn’t help, go back to where you were at. At least then you’d know if it would help or not. I know it sucks to be on high dosages, but it’s what I had to do, and it’s helped me to function enough to do some freelance writing. 😦

      2. I can understand that. My biggest fear is that once I start saying “Okay” to more then I’ll just getting pushed to take more and more, you know? I know that in the end it’s up to me, but I still don’t like feeling pressured.

    2. Seconding this! My ex-fiance (who I’m still kind of semi-dating) loves me to death “despite” my anxiety and depression. He doesn’t really know how to deal with them, because he’s never had these experiences before, but even as confused as he is sometimes he still tries to help (and will back off if I tell him I just need to be alone).

      There are plenty of people with anxiety in relationships, so obviously there are people who want to date us! Most of them even *gasp* are willing to support us through our down slopes and offer help when needed! Loving, supportive relationships for people with mental illnesses! What a concept!

      1. Thank you!!! It’s like we’re some kind of oddity to the rest of the world, and it’s really hard knowing that there are people who think “Who could love that person?” about us just because we have mental illness. Ugh. People suck, sometimes.

  3. I generally mistrust doctors who insist on pushing me onto medications after I’ve explicitly told them I don’t want that. A good doctor should work WITH their patient to find the solution which will benefit them the most. To insist on medication after a patient has expressed that it is unwanted is disrespectful and rude, which (especially when the patient is dealing with anxiety) can be detrimental to the entire recovery process. It is important for doctors to respect their patients’ boundaries, especially when dealing with mental disorders.

    Whenever such a thing happens, I automatically assume the doctor is getting some kind of kick-back or perk from the pharmaceutical company and I find a new doctor.

    I hope you told (or will tell) your doctor how those comments make you feel. If he continues to do so, you may want to look into finding a new doctor (I know it can be tough finding someone you click with and starting all over from scratch, but in my experience that’s better than a doctor who makes me feel guilty or pressured for not wanting to follow a certain treatment path). No therapist should disregard a patient’s wishes. It would be one thing if you have cancer and are refusing medication, but there are plenty of non-pharmaceutical treatments for anxiety and similar mental health issues. If he doesn’t have the patience to stick with you through them without putting you on a heavy dose of pills, in my opinion he is not a very good or attentive therapist.

    Sorry to rant. I’ve just had too many bad experiences with doctors exactly like you described and I absolutely despised every one. They did far more harm than good. I really wish my old therapist hadn’t retired–she was fantastic and I made such great improvement under her care (without ever being put on meds).

    1. Thank you so much for such a thoughtful comment! I think you’re right that I should speak up next time. Today he said that he doesn’t mean to yell (which he doesn’t). I think the problem is the wording he uses and how he makes me feel like not taking more medication means that I don’t want to get better – which is absolutely not true at all!

  4. From my experiences psychiatrists are generally very pro drugs but it’s your body, your choice and they should respect that.
    Personally I went to the highest dosage I could be given and did I have a boyfriend…nope. Was my anxiety cured..nope!
    Don’t let them guilt you into taking more medication if it’s not what you want x

  5. I completely agree! I really feel some doctors are try to make you feel bad, to feel guilty, and don’t always listen to what you want. I hope it all works out for you, regardless!

  6. I saw my psychiatrist two days ago. After talking with me for a few minutes, she once more said that she was leaving my medications the way they are. I also cannot work, or be in a relationship with anyone.

      1. I don’t think that’s true at all! I’m sure someone would love to spend the rest of their life with you and I’m sure you could find a job somewhere!

        Did you ever consider asking to take more medication? Do you want to take more?

      2. I do not want to take more medication. My mind already fails me at times, due to the MS. More medication would only make it worse. I take the highest dosage of a couple of my meds already.

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