Today I had a psychiatrist appointment. During the appointment, I was asked if I had a job or boyfriend. The answer to both was no. Would I like to get a job and work? Absolutely! Would I like to meet some nice guy and maybe one day get married? Of course! However, due to my anxiety I don’t feel like I’d be able to work yet and I don’t get out a lot to meet a lot of people.
My psychiatrist wants me to take more medication, he’s wanted this for a long time. I am taking more than I was the last time I saw him, but he still wants me on an even higher dosage. While I want to get better in getting through my anxiety, I also don’t want to be on a lot of medicine. It’s just how I feel.
I know my psychiatrist means well, but he often times makes me feel pressured and guilty for not taking as much medication as he wants me to. He said how the longer I wait to work, the harder it will be for me to get a job and how if I want to have a boyfriend and get married, I have to get through my anxiety. I know this. I want to get better, get a job that I love, and have a relationship with someone special. Still, I don’t think that these things should be used to make me feel guilty for not taking more medication. I just don’t feel that it’s right.
Don’t get me wrong, I understand where my psychiatrist (and therapist) is coming from. He feels that if I take more medication, my anxiety will be easier to control and I’ll be able to accomplish more. However, I still want to be able to accomplish my goals and manage my anxiety without taking tons of medication. Is that so wrong?
Also, when I go in for my appointment and I hear things like, “If you want to stay this way, then you can keep taking a low dose of medication…” it hurts my feelings and I find it frustrating! Just because I don’t want to be on a high dosage of medicine, doesn’t mean that I don’t want to get better! Also, maybe my psychiatrist doesn’t consider a certain dosage high, but maybe I do. Doesn’t that matter?
My point is that while you should listen to your doctors, you should also make sure that you don’t allow them to make you feel too down about yourself. I know sometimes it can seem like they’re trying to make you feel guilty or putting a lot of pressure on you, but sometimes it’s just the way they say things. Also, while you have to work hard and while you should listen to what is being said, don’t allow negative comments to make you feel hopeless. If you work hard on a consistent basis, you will get through your anxiety and succeed!
*This post is not meant to say that you shouldn’t listen to your doctors, psychiatrists, therapists, etc. Instead it is meant to say that you should not allow rude comments or other things that are said that may rub you the wrong way, bring you down.