As human beings, we all make choices. Some of the choices we make in life are easy, while some are much more difficult. Dealing with anxiety, I’ve come to learn that sometimes we have to do what we feel is best for us, no matter what others may think.
Let’s be clear. I would absolutely love to go more places. I would love to go to every family gathering there is and know that anxiety won’t make me miserable. However, I know realistically that sometimes, there is no guarantee that things will go perfectly well. While we should always try to do things and make our best effort to succeed, there are also times when deep down, we know that it is better to not participate in a certain event. Let me give you an example.
Yesterday was a family get together. Now, don’t get me wrong, I would have loved to have gone if I knew I would enjoy myself. However, many times when I go to this specific place, things don’t go well. I get anxious and unfortunately, I am not met with the understanding that I would hope. Instead, I am often met with disappointment and rudeness. Instead of enjoying myself, I end up feeling quite miserable.
Things don’t always work out perfectly. I’m fine with that. Don’t get me wrong, I would like it if everything went smoothly, but I know that especially when dealing with anxiety, that’s not always how things work out. Some people can’t accept that others aren’t perfect. Some people don’t like to see anything but perfection and get angry when they see that some people actually struggle.
I chose yesterday not to go to the family gathering. It wasn’t the easiest choice to make (after all, I wanted to get out and maybe spend some time with my family). However, deep down I knew that going would probably make me unhappy. I love my family, I do, but sometimes I feel misunderstood and as I mentioned, I’m not always met with kindness.
I didn’t want to feel stressed yesterday, I didn’t want to feel like a burden or be ignored for the majority of the day. I know that I can’t totally blame others for this (after all, having anxiety makes it harder for me to go out of my way to start conversations), but I do think that it would be nice if my family was a bit more supportive and understanding of what I go through. I wanted to have a good day yesterday. I worked hard at home to make progress and to be honest, I had a relaxing day. I’m proud of the decision I made and I don’t regret it.
So, do I wish that I could have gone yesterday and not had any issues with anxiety? Absolutely! However, I didn’t want to chance going, struggling, and then being made to feel badly about it. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t try our hardest to succeed and take chances (in fact, I know that I have to take more chances in general with things), but sometimes we need to do what we think is best for us. Sometimes we have to weigh the positives and negatives of a situation. Sometimes we need to take a break from something that has a way of making us feel less than happy.
Next time you find yourself making a tough decision, consider this: what’s the best thing for you? What decision will you be happy with that you made at the end of the day? Think of all the possible choices you can make and whichever one you feel is the best option for you, make! As long as you’re not hurting others or yourself, and you are happy with your choice, that’s what counts! I wish you all the best!
For another post on this topic, click here
*A special thank you to Carla for helping me through this situation!