I know I’ve said this before, but anxiety is exhausting. I’m so tired of going through this and I’m tired of everything seeming so difficult. The simplest things sometimes seem impossible and I can literally feel stress draining my energy. My eyes become tired and I feel hopeless.
I try to stay positive and some days it’s easier than others. Other days I struggle and I just wonder if I’ll ever get through this. I admit, sometimes I don’t try hard enough and I don’t practice consistently enough. Sometimes I get lazy and sometimes I just wish my anxiety would vanish.
I know it doesn’t work like that. I know in order to get through my anxiety, I have to work hard on a consistent basis. Still, I’ve been going through this for such a long time and I just want it to stop. I just want to go back to not struggling so much, especially when it comes to things that are supposed to be easy.
In addition to being really sad at the moment, I also feel bad. My dad is one of the only people who understand what I go through (other than you guys and a few other friends/relatives) and I was kind of mean. Sometimes it’s just hard to hear things like, “sometimes you just have to do it” or “just don’t think about it”. It’s hard because I wish it was that easy and sometimes I feel that people forget that it’s not.
I know that this isn’t the most positive post and I’m sorry. I know I’ve voiced several times before how tiring this is. I just feel so down right now, so upset. However, I know I have to stay hopeful and I know that if I work hard on a consistent basis, I will get through this. We all will. I just want you guys to know that I understand that it’s not always easy.