Genuinely Sorry

Yesterday when I was at the bank and struggling, I told my mom that I was sorry. I don’t think she believed me.

As I’ve mentioned, I think a big issue with anxiety is that some of the people we know who don’t experience anxiety, don’t believe that we struggle so much. It seems that for some reason, some individuals are under the impression that we either (a) fake our anxiety, (b) do it for attention, (c) do it out of immaturity/fear of growing up or, (d) enjoy it. There’s also the possibility that they think we go through anxiety for all of the above reasons.

The sad truth is, that these people may never understand that the above statements aren’t true. Honestly, I think there are some people in the world that will never understand what we go through and will never have the patience to deal with it in a kind, loving way. Now, I’m not saying that these people don’t love us or that they perhaps don’t try their best, but what I am saying is that they may never be able to help in the way that we know to be the most helpful.

Like I said, this fact is sad and unfortunate. However, something that is really upsetting is when I apologize and I feel like it’s not believed to be a genuine apology. The truth is that I am sorry. I’m sorry that I struggle. I’m sorry that I sometimes need the help from others to get through what should be simple things. I’m sorry that I sometimes upset others by being so anxious and needing so much assistance!

I think a big reason that the phrase “I’m sorry” might seem so insincere to some is because those who do not deal with anxiety are often under the impression that we can just make our anxiety stop, or that we should be able to. I think some individuals think that if we’re truly sorry, we can and should just stop struggling. As we all know though, it doesn’t always work this way.

Getting through anxiety is often an ongoing process, one that takes hard work and commitment to achieve. Just because things are difficult, we struggle, and we might ask for a lot of help, doesn’t mean that we’re not sorry. What it means is that we go through something that is really hard to manage and cope with.

When I apologize, I mean it. In fact I’ve never apologized and not meant it – ever. I’m truly sorry for putting people through this, for asking them for their help and for requesting so much of them. Also, I’m sorry that I go through this at all. I would love not to struggle with anxiety and I would love not to ask for so much help and feel like I need it. And you know what? I am working on getting better. It may not always seem like it, but it’s true.

So remember, if someone doesn’t believe that you’re sorry, it’s not your fault. Some people just can’t understand what we go through or don’t have the patience. It doesn’t mean they don’t love us, it just means that they don’t understand or find it difficult to grasp something that they personally, don’t struggle with. I wish you all the best and remember, you are not alone and there are people who care and who are happy to help! Also, you are not a burden! Period.

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19 thoughts on “Genuinely Sorry

  1. Hey BG, I’m sorry your apology wasn’t really taken sincerely. Have you all thought of finding a group for anxiety/mental health issues, where they teach families how to understand and help their loved ones? I recently went to an office with my sis and they had flyers with these kinds of groups on them. I remember thinking what a great group to have! So many family members do not understand what we go through and can learn a lot from meeting other people with the same issues and learning how to be supportive ☺️.

      • I can understand that. Some are lead by therapists, others are led by families who have learned how to deal. Research would be key if you want to make sure the information being given is accurate. You can always go alone at first to test it out…whatever works best for you. Xoxo

      • That’s very true! Thanks again for the suggestion. I think it’s so important that people understand the truth about anxiety. It doesn’t make us weak, it doesn’t mean that we’re incapable of things, etc. Anxiety just makes us feel out of control sometimes, etc. Also, I think some people don’t understand how difficult anxiety is to get through and deal with. It definitely is something that people should be educated about.

      • Agreed! People need to understand that having anxiety makes us feel every emotion about 2x more then someone who doesn’t suffer from it. Feeling sad for instance may make us feel really down and depressed. Feeling nervous may have us more frightened then someone who doesn’t have anxiety. Emotions are stronger and the body reacts to the stronger emotions we have, often making us feel sick, dizzy, shaken up, etc. so I definitely agree that family and friends need to learn more.

  2. This is one of those things which I struggle with as well–when I apologize for something and it’s not taken seriously. Most often when this happens the person says something like, “I don’t want you to say you’re sorry; I want you to DO something about it,” because it’s literally saying, “You’re just not trying,” and I am. We all are. And it is incredibly frustrating when that is not recognized.

    I am sincerely sorry that you had to go through that, especially with someone like your mother, who is supposed to be one of those supportive and understanding people in your life.

    • Thank you and I can definitely relate! When they say they want you to do something it’s as if they’re saying you don’t already – which is most likely far from the truth. Just because we struggle, does not mean we aren’t trying every single day!

  3. I’m sorry your mum wasn’t able to believe in your apology or understand your anxiety. I can empathise my family are the same. You didn’t choose to have anxiety, none of it is your fault. I don’t believe people should have to apologise for needing help.
    Just remember your WordPress friends understand, and they know how hard you are trying. And they admire and respect you 🙂

    • Thank you, that means a lot to me. I know my mom loves me as do my other family members, but some are less understanding than others. I know a lot of my family and friends do understand though and try their hardest to help!

  4. I go through this with my mom as well. I think the most frustrating part is that she deals with anxiety as well. Hers is not as severe as mine is, but she still deals with it. It’s hard when family doesn’t “get it”.

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