I didn’t have a good night last night. I got really anxious and found it hard to do simple things. Admittedly, I cried and got really upset. Sometimes everything just adds up and it’s hard to handle.
While I wish I didn’t have to learn these things (as I wish I didn’t have to deal with anxiety), getting as anxious as I did and having the experience that I had did teach me a few things. For one thing, it taught me that there are some people who will try their hardest to help you and there are others who, if they don’t understand what you’re going through, find it difficult and maybe impossible to help you get through whatever you’re struggling with.
Many of you who struggle with anxiety may understand that sometimes, when anxious, there are some things that help us relax. Whether it’s keeping a light on while we get things done or talking on the phone with someone to get our minds off whatever we’re doing, it can sometimes help to have something that calms us down.
Last night, one of my relatives found it hard to let me have those things that bring me some comfort. I admit that sometimes when I’m stressed, I like to keep the light on in the room where I need to get things done. I might need to leave the room to relax before going back in, but I like to keep the light on so when I go back in the room, it can be as effortless as possible. Maybe to some that seems silly, but it makes things easier for me and if you ask me, it’s not too much to ask. However, my relative felt the need to turn off the light because he couldn’t understand how keeping it on helped me. Also, when I asked if he could bring me my cell phone so that I’d feel more comfortable having it by my side, he didn’t do that for me either.
This can be extremely frustrating. These are simple, harmless tasks that someone could help me with so that I would feel better and yet, because they don’t understand what I’m going through, some people refuse to do it. While some people will try their hardest to make you feel better, others find it hard to help.
Another thing I learned last night is how important it is to work harder to get through my anxiety. So many times I don’t exercise or practice facing my fears because I’m “too tired” or lazy. I want to get through my anxiety so much and every time I struggle, I feel horrible both during and afterwards. Why then, would I not put my laziness aside, and try my hardest to practice and exercise?
Next time I feel too lazy to exercise, I’m going to try to remember that it’s better to wake up or get up and exercise than to later experience the consequence for not practicing face my fears. Also, I need to remember that some people will be willing to help and others may not be. This doesn’t mean that those who don’t help don’t love us, they may just not know how to help, etc. No matter what, we have to try to learn to get through things on our own. This doesn’t mean though that we can’t ask for assistance from those we trust.
I’d like to thank all of you who support me!