Before I get into this post, I’d like to make something very clear. You should always take medication as prescribed by a doctor that you can trust. The purpose of this post is not to say that you should go against what your doctor says, but rather to explore the situation of not wanting to take too much medication, while still wanting to take the right amount. Let me explain.
I’m not a fan of medication. If it were up to me, I wouldn’t have to take it. I wouldn’t have irrational fears and I wouldn’t suffer from anxiety so much that I would need medication to help me control it. Unfortunately, I feel like at this point, I still do need some medication and my therapist and psychiatrist certainly agree.
However, I still don’t like that I have to take medication and I still don’t like how much I take. In my opinion, I should be taking less, but like I said, my therapist and psychiatrist feel differently.
I guess part of it is my fault. If I’d practice even harder, my anxiety would get more manageable on its own. It’s still hard though to take so much medicine. I realize that some people take even more than I do, but it’s still hard for me. I’m currently on two different medications for anxiety, medicine for seizures, and folic acid (which is a vitamin, but still something that I’m putting into my system). I’m also taking vitamin D, but again, I know that that’s slightly different. Even if I wasn’t counting the vitamins, that’s a lot of medication.
I’ve learned to accept that I’ll probably be on the seizure medication the rest of my life. My seizure medication keeps my seizures under control, so really, I’m okay taking it. Now, do I like taking it? No. I don’t think anyone likes taking medicine, but I’ve accepted that I need it.
I don’t like taking so much medicine. Not only is it tiring planning your day around when you have to take it, but you can almost sometimes feel it building up in your system. Sometimes after I take it, I feel a stomach ache coming on. It’s just exhausting taking it day in and day out.
I know I’m considered slightly stubborn when it comes to taking more medication. Instead of just taking whatever my psychiatrist recommends, I tend to be a little hesitant about it. I take it slow and I really try to consider whether or not I want to take more. I don’t honestly think there’s anything wrong with this. Don’t get me wrong, I think we need to listen to our doctor’s, but I also think we need to do what we think is best for ourselves. I think it’s important to make a balanced decision. You have to consider both what your doctor recommends and how you feel.