Let me start off by saying that I’m not a huge fan of this movie (I find it slightly annoying). Still though, my therapist used the movie Groundhog Day as an analogy for my anxiety. It was a good analogy actually because like the movie, when I don’t practice facing my anxiety or exercise consistently, my anxiety repeats itself over and over again. Like the movie, Groundhog Day, the tough moments just keep repeating themselves in what seems to be an endless cycle.
I hate the endless cycle of anxiety and although I know how important consistency is, I often fall short of achieving it. My therapist said that I need to come up with a better game plan. I need to learn to depend on myself, to hold myself accountable for my practicing and exercising. I need to take advantage of all the opportunities at home to practice!
I told my therapist about the whole going to church situation; about how I want to go but I don’t know how well it would work out with my mom. I told him how she said if I get anxious, I could go in the other room but how she didn’t seem willing to leave if I needed to. He raised a good point. Instead of focusing on going to church at the moment, I should focus on becoming more comfortable in different situations at home. I should practice sitting in a chair like I would be at church so that if I do one day decide to go, I won’t need to depend on my mom and whether or not she’d be understanding. I’ll be able to go and not be too anxious to stay. Plus, if I did get anxious, I could walk out myself.
I’m going to try harder. I know I say this all the time, but I am. Just as my therapist reminded me, I’m an intelligent person. I love interacting with others, I love writing, and I love helping people. I’ve done great things before like go to school, etc. and I am stronger than my anxiety!